New Human Alert: Michael Phelps’ Baby Has Arrived

May 7, 2016 / Posted by:

Nature is truly a wonder! They tell us that different species cannot come together to procreate, yet here we stand in awe. Olympic machine, and possible non-human (18 GOLD MEDALS, WHAT?!), Michael Phelps gave his fiancee, Nicole Johnson, who is just a regular human, although she’s a former Miss California, a case of the babies nine months ago. And now said baby has arrived. Please welcome to the stage, Boomer Robert Phelps. Yes, Boomer! Put that in your “I can’t” file.

Michael posted the above picture earlier today on Instagram. But Boomer was actually born on the 5th, as per Michael’s caption:

Welcome Boomer Robert Phelps into the world!!! Born 5-5-2016 at 7:21 pm !!! Healthy and happy!!! Best feeling I have ever felt in my life!!! @nicole.m.johnson and Boomer both healthy!!! #boomerphelps 📷 @boonestudios

Just like those soulless Kartrashians stole Blac Chyna’s Mother’s Day pregnancy announcement, Michael stole it from Nicole. Just look at the picture. Boomer and Michael’s body are totally in sharp focus, Michael is topless and Nicole is blurred out in the back, exhausted from having a baby and reminding me a touch of a Kylie Jenner face swap. Rude, Michael! Rude!

Listen, it’s not my baby and they can name it whatever they want, but Boomer Phelps sounds like something you come up with during the porn name game. Then again, it’s a sporty sounding so they’re probably imagining him winning a million gold medals and zooming to the moon or something. At this point, you’ve gotta give celeb kids a WTF ass name or they take away your fame, right?

Pic: Instagram

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