Who Is April’s Hot Slut Of The Month?

May 6, 2016 / Posted by:

It’s about that time to vote on who will join the dog that robbed Joan Collins of her title, Flossie Dickey and Birdie Sanders in the Hot Slut of the Year finals next year. March’s HSOTM showdown is going to confuse the hell out of those of you who only vote for the animals, because we’ve got zero animals this month. We’ve got a librarian who knows how to threaten me with a good time, two sparkling stars in the Prince universe, balls from the 80s I wish I could get teabagged by and a future style icon.

As always, 3 of your choices got the most Facebook likes for the month of March, and the fourth pick is the wild card picked by me. Of course, I picked the piece who knows that you can never go wrong with a crop top. Here’s your choices:

Margaret Miles, the self-proclaimed “stereotypical librarian” from Jeopardy! who earned a zillion fans by saying that her idea of a fun time is knitting and petting her cats.

Diamond and Pearl, the 90s precious gemstones who were a part of Prince’s jewelry box of muses.

Planters Cheez Balls, the 80s balls of fake cheese deliciousness that is still stuck to the roof of some of our mouths.

Ezekiel Elliott, the NFL’s new midriff king!

The winning HSOTM will be announced next week. The losers will all hold a press conference where they’ll admit defeat before elbowing their spouse in the face.


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