When Madonna showed up to the Met Gala on Monday night wearing some kind of sex dungeon Game of Thrones ensemble, many of us said to ourselves, “Attention is coming….” And it did in all forms. Some hos slow clapped for Madge bringing her 57-year-old chichis and ass out. Some said that Madge needs more people… who will tell her to cover that ass up. Some Catholic abuelitas reached for their rosaries after seeing their black lace veil on Madge’s butt cheeks. Others let out a “meh” and continued to sip their spiked tea because seeing Madge’s full moon is more of a regular occurrence than seeing an actual full moon. Of course, Madge had something to say to the bitches hating on her ass. Since lately, Madge lives for the Instagram likes, she used Instagram to tell the people hating on her Illuminati priestess ho shit outfit to eat her ass.
Madge was definitely making a statement with her Givenchy outfit, but I thought the statement was: “Talk about my nalgas.” But Madge claims that her dress-thing was commentary on sexism and ageism. Madge was fighting for your right to bare those butt dumplings at the Met Gala. When Madge got hate for showing up hours late to her shows and coming off as drunk, she called “sexism.” When Madge gets hate for showing her titties and ass at some event, she calls “sexism” AND “ageism.” As an assistant killed one of Madge’s face wrinkles with a Botox shot, she posted this on Instagram:
We have fought and continue to fight for civil rights and gay rights around the world. When it comes to Women’s rights we are still in the dark ages. My dress at the Met Ball was a political statement as well as a fashion statement. The fact that people actually believe a woman is not allowed to express her sexuality and be adventurous past a certain age is proof that we still live in an age-ist and sexist society. I have never thought in a limited way and I’m not going to start. We cannot effect change unless we are willing to take risks By being fearless and By taking the road leas traveled by. Thats how we change history. If you have a problem with the way I dress it is simply a reflection of your prejudice. I’m not afraid to pave the way for all the girls behind me!! As Nina Simone once said, the definition of freedom is being fearless. I remain Unapologetic and a Rebel [heart] in this life and all the others. Join my fight for Gender. Equality!
Okay, but what is it called if you just thought her outfit was ugly? Fuglyism?
So, Madge is saying that one way to fight for gender equality is to bare your parts in public. I’m all for that and I would join the fight, but the last time I showed up to the grocery store in a thong, duct tape pasties and a black lace robe, they called the cops and security escorted me out of the building. Rude prudes!