We’ll get to that “Showgirls meets SilverHawks” dress mess in a second. First we need to talk about the person wearing it, and how she once again attempted to just-so-subtly get some attention courtesy of Beyonce. As you may remember, the Who’s On First of people, Rita Ora, practically dislocated both her shoulders after throwing up her arms and waving “Over here! I’m not Becky with the good hair!” last week. Well, surprise surprise, she did it again at the Met Gala last night. Several times, actually.
Once inside the Met Ball, Rita was granted access to the reason for why anyone was talking about Rita Ora in the past week, Beyonce. Rita has already denied that she’s the homewrecking ho that Beyonce sings about in “Sorry.” I guess she was tired of the Beyhive buzzing the word “liar” into her ear, so she decided to prove that there’s no drama between her and their queen.
Rita Ora writing “Family” on a picture with Beyonce is like the famous person equivalent of going to a family reunion. I bet that 0.3 second after Rita took that picture, Bey turned to Solange and whispered “Sorry, how are we related to her again?” Of course, this whole joke is based on the assumption that Beyonce willingly volunteered to take a picture with Rita. There’s a very good chance this was an Amy Schumer situation. We’ll only know for sure if Beyonce releases a follow-up to Lemonade called Lemon-flavored Crystal Light, the first song of which will be titled: “Please don’t approach me and take my picture (I don’t owe you anything).”
But Rita’s Becky denial didn’t end there. After the Met Gala, Rita left an afterparty and made sure paps got a good shot of her wearing this pin.
Apparently Rita’s NOT BECKY pin was given out at the afterparty (Katy Perry threw one on too). For real though, that pin is a really smart idea for Rita. I’m sure it gets tiring having to answer the question “Who are you?” 20 times a day. This way, all she has to do it point at the pin. That way she can save her vocal cords for…singing? That’s what Rita Ora does, right?
Okay, back to that dress. Because the theme was fashion technology something something, Rita Ora showed up in a silver feather number by Vera Wang. She looks like a dancer from a Black Swan-themed Vegas show called Silver Ostrich. Also included is Rita leaving that afterparty, as well as Beyonce and Solange leaving too. I don’t know what in the name of egg crate foam mattress topper hell Solange is wearing, but I definitely appreciate those plastic stripper shoes. (Note from Michael: “Plastic stripper shoes?!!!!” That is exquisite Lucite lounging heels! Allison has been reported for violating the Shauna Sand code!)