Kirk Cameron Gives You Ladies A Really Good Reason For Why It’s Probably Not Fun Being Married To Kirk Cameron

April 29, 2016 / Posted by:

In case you needed to be reminded that Kirk Cameron is a hardcore evangelical who considers the Bible his handbook on life (which is why he makes the sign of the cross at any poly-blend shirt he comes across and considers Moe Howard the closest thing we had to Satan), I am here to remind you that Kirk Cameron is a hardcore evangelical who considers the Bible his handbook on life!

Kirk Cameron is currently on tour with Love Worth Fighting For, which sadly isn’t an unauthorized Cheryl Cole musical. Love Worth Fighting For is a seminar where Kunt Cameron (on-purpose typo and it stays) gives advice marriage advice. While pimping out his tour in an interview with the Christian Post (via People), Kirk echoed what his sister DJ Tanner said in her book a couple of years ago. The Gay Whisperer believes that the Bible’s other title should be “Rulez 4 Marriage,” because the keys to a long-lasting union are right there in the book of the lord. Kirk, who has been married to Kate from Growing Pains for over 24 years, believes that the husband should be the sole decision maker and his woman should respect that.

“A lot of people don’t know that marriage comes with instructions. And, we find them right there in God’s word.”

[Husbands are] to love their wives and not to tell their wives that they need to submit to them. Wives are to honor and respect and follow their husband’s lead, not to tell their husband how he ought to be a better husband. When each person gets their part right, regardless of how their spouse is treating them, there is hope for real change in their marriage.”

“Regardless of how their spouse is treating them”? So, let’s see, if you’re married to Kirk Cameron and he tells you to watch Saving Christmas while completely sober, you have to do it? SANTO DIOS! That is spousal abuse. Kate from Growing Pains is obviously okay with the whole “honor thy husband” thing, but if I was her, I’d covertly slip an extra page in his copy of the Bible that reads, “Thou Shalt Not Listen To Anyfuckingthing Mike Seaver Says, Ever!”

And if only Kirk had a time machine, and no I’m not about to say so he can go back to caveman times. If Kirk had a time machine, he could go back to 2011 and command his wife to go to his legendary office birthday party:

sadkirkcameron2016

It might not have looked as sad with another person there. Okay, it still would’ve. I mean, this makes that pothole’s birthday party look like something out of My Super Sweet 16.

Pic: ABC

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