Open Post: Hosted By Usher’s Peen-Hiding Emoji

April 28, 2016 / Posted by:

The Game really needs to take Usher under his thirsty wing and show that trick how to really take a dick-flashing selfie, because this mess is the direct opposite of sexy.

Buzzfeed says that Usher threw up a Snapchat Story this morning that included a tour of his house and a naked selfie with the caption, “Blowing off steam.” I hear you thinking to yourself, “I didn’t know that one of Justin Bieber’s nicknames is Steam.” Usher meant that he was in the steam shower, and if he’s still in there, someone pull him out STAT, because that mess is shrinking his body. It looks like he’s got uncooked hot dog legs. Because of that angle and that sad look on his face, he looks like a malnourished Tweety Bird if a malnourished Tweety Bird transformed into a human. Sally Struthers is about to host an infomercial, benefiting Usher.

The full NSFW picture is after the cut, and the only good thing to come out of this selfie is that we can see the tip:

usherpeenpic2016

I call DO OVER. Usher needs to lose the emoji and take another picture that doesn’t make it look like he’s having a bitch of a time squeezing out a stubborn turd on the potty.

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