Excuse Melania Trump’s All-Natural Beauty!

April 28, 2016 / Posted by:

GQ did a profile on gold digging icon and gold-plated Slovenian blossom Melania Trump, and even though she was interviewed for it, she has already spit on it in a Facebook message by saying that it’s covered in lies. The article claims that Melania’s father was once investigated for tax evasion and charged with a tax offense. So maybe that’s what she’s mad about? But beyond talking about what causes she’ll be into as First Lady (“Many, many charities. Many different charities involving children..”), she talked about the thing that makes grown men kill themselves for and makes grown women explode with jealousy: her earth-shattering beauté!

There’s been rumors that Melania’s chest is full of silicone bags, and anyone who has the ability to see believes that she’s injected her face with fillers. But nope, Melania just naturally looks like a Thundercat figurine that was exquisitely-crafted out of the finest wax. Just like Priyanka Chopra has that natural “hot body” gene, Melania has that natural “hot face” gene. Accordiing to Melania, the only unnatural thing that has been in her body is Donald Trump:

Again, Melania scoffs when I ask if she had had a breast augmentation. “I didn’t make any changes,” she says. “A lot of people say I am using all the procedures for my face. I didn’t do anything. I live a healthy life, I take care of my skin and my body. I’m against Botox, I’m against injections; I think it’s damaging your face, damaging your nerves. It’s all me. I will age gracefully, as my mom does.”

Jabba the Trump is a moldy piss bag full of deception, but Melania, however, would never let a lie pass between her gorgeous lips. I believe her. There’s an easy explanation for how Melania got that perma-squint and that frozen face look. Melania has seen Jabba the Trump’s naked body so many times that her face and eyes are permanently frozen in an expression that says, “What have I done? Just think of the money, Melania. Just think of the money!

And here’s a few pictures of Melania’s organic beauty throughout the years:

Pics: GQ, Wenn.com, Ocean Drive, Maxim

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