I know Shia LaBeouf has a punchable face, but this is ridiculous. People says that a 26-year-old man from New York named Mario Licato recently took a fist to the face because he looked like Shia LaBeouf. Not because the puncher thought he was Shia, but because he looked like Shia. Shit, who knew that just looking like Shia LaBeouf is enough to get a person punched in the face in New York?
As for how all this weird drama went down, Mario Licato claims he was walking down the subway stairs when a dude in his 20s approached him and punched him in the face. According to Mario, the puncher told him: “This is because you look like Shia LaBeouf.” As you can see for yourself, that crazy punch-thrower isn’t exactly wrong: Mario does look a whole hell of a lot like Shia LaBeouf.
— People Magazine (@people) April 27, 2016
Well, okay – maybe more like the baby that would be born if Shia mated with Charlie from Girls. But a version of Shia nonetheless.
Shortly after Mario got punched for looking like Shia, he called the police, who are currently investigating this. Mario later posted a picture of his beat-up face on Instagram and thanked the guy who punched him for looking like Shia for boosting his self-esteem because Shia “is hot.” Mario should get his ass to a hospital, because that punch clearly caused some brain damage.
Honestly, if the police want to save themselves some time, they should probably go talk to Shia first. I wouldn’t be surprised if finding people on the street who looked like him and punching them in the face was Shia’s latest performance art thing. Although the police probably shouldn’t expect to receive a straight answer out of Shia if they do question him. Shia recently did an interview with Complex, and he phrased all his answers in the form of non-rhyming email poems. He also wrapped up the interview by saying he’s dying to make a film about The Catcher in the Rye and Captain Planet. Honestly, the only way he could have been any more Beoufy would be if he had done that entire interview while punching himself.
And here’s Shia looking like a dude who runs an adults-only karate studio out of his garage while walking around Los Angeles earlier this month.