The Ted Cruz Lookalike From Maury Is Going To Do Porn For $10,000
I thought I had heard the most ‘Murican story last week when a 21-year-old mom went on Maury to prove that her man is the father of her son and ended up becoming a meme because she has the same face as Republican presidential candidate Ted Cruz. But no, that story topped itself after Ted Cruz’s lady face twin was offered $10,000 to do porn and she took the deal. Thanks to the 2008 election, we got Who’s Nailin’ Paylin. And now thanks to the 2016 election, we’re getting ThrusTED: Cruzin’ 4 An Oozin’.
Searcy Hayes, the mother-of-one from Natchez, Mississippi, was on an episode of Maury last Monday with her 25-year-old fiancé Freddie Green. It was typical Maury shit. Freddie accused Searcy Hayes (that’s a hot name, by the way) of passing her poon to several dudes and he wanted to know if he was the father of their 3-month-old son. (SPOILER ALERT: He IS the father!) Twitter immediately pointed out that Searcy looks like Ted Cruz with a wig on and the side-by-side pictures went everywhere. That led to the porn site XHamster offering Searcy 10 grand to fuck on Freddie in a porn.
HuffPo says that in exchange for the 10 grand, Searcy and Freddie have to make a 6-minute-long sex tape on an iPhone. Searcy and Freddie said they took the deal because they can do a lot with 10 grand. Searcy is a housekeeper and Freddie is on disability. They’ve already spent the money in their heads and Freddie is getting the tingles over Searcy’s 15 seconds of fame:
“We want to buy a truck, pay off our house and we might get married,” he says. “I never had anyone say, ‘Here’s $10,000! Go make a sex tape.’”
Green admits he’s excited by Hayes’ newfound fame.
“It’s kind of exciting and shocking to know she’s famous — she’s more famous than Madonna!” he said. “I’m with a star.”
Searcy, who is a Trump supporter, told Maury in a video posted on Facebook that she didn’t even know who Ted Cruz was before everyone said she looks like Tedina Cruz.
“I had never heard of Ted Cruz. The only word I have ever heard of was Donald Trump.”
I have 3 thoughts:
1. Searcy and Freddie should get themselves a manager (not Pimp Mama Kris, she’ll take 99.9999%) and a lawyer and try to get a lot more money. They should also try to get a percentage of the back-end. Not that kind of back-end!
2. If XHamster tells Freddie that he needs to wear a Donald Trump mask while making that porn, then I’m going to unplug all my electronics, put my phone in the garbage disposal, bury my iPad and live like I’m Amish until the day after the inauguration.
3. How in the hell did she not know about Ted Cruz? What rock was she living under and can I have the address? Because I may want to move there so that I can forget that Ted Cruz exists.