Prince’s Cause Of Death Won’t Be Known For Weeks

April 22, 2016 / Posted by:

But what is known currently is that I still get the full-body puckers from those sex-me eyes, lip gloss-slathered pout and hot heels that allowed him to stomp so hard the angels could feel it.

I’ve learned many things from writing this gutter sludge of a blog (“One of those things is obviously not proper grammar.” – you), and one of those things is that autopsy results don’t take as long as a commercial break like they do on TV. It takes time, and sometimes, it takes a lot of time. So it’s no surprise that Prince’s cause of death is still weeks away for being known. The Medical Examiner did an autopsy on Prince’s body today and a rep said that they need several more weeks to examine his toxicology results and medical history and all that.

A press conference was also held today and officials said that they don’t believe that Prince commited suicide. They also confirmed that Prince was found yesterday morning in an elevator in his home after his staff couldn’t get a hold of him. The last anyone saw of him was on Wednesday night when he was dropped off at his Paisley ParkĀ estate.

Sheriff Jim Olson wouldn’t answer questions about the rumors that Prince OD’d on Percocet just days before his death. He also wouldn’t say what they found at the scene. He only said that they’re just beginning the investigation and they will soon bring in Jessica Fletcher and Detective La Toya Jackson, P.I. to make sure they’ve gotten to the bottom of EVERYTHING. No, the Sheriff didn’t say that last part, but he did say that “no stone will be left unturned,” so I’m guessing that’s what he meant by that.

I watched part of the press conference and some real riveting questions were asked like, “Sheriff, were you a Prince fan?” Since I care about the important things, I hoped that a reporter would ask what Prince was wearing and one did. But the sheriff disappointed me with his answer. via ABC News

“He was in clothes,” Olson said when asked to describe Prince’s attire. “I can’t say I know what he sleeps in versus what he goes out in.”

Seriously, the sheriff only said that Prince was wearing “a shirt” and “some kind of pants.” That’s it! Was the blouse (I mean, Prince didn’t wear “shirts“) ruffled and covered with delicate gold beads? Were the pants of the stirrup kind and made with the finest lace? Prince must be throwing that sheriff a skin-burning side-eye from heaven. I mean, “a shirt” and “some kind of pants.” How dreadful!

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