Must not stare at that leather camel toe… Must not stare at that leather camel toe…
Katherine Heigl’s career is currently a wet clump at the top of a full kitty litter box, and it looks like she’s trying to turn that shit around before the only gig she’s offered is doggy poop bag commercials in Uzbekistan. Heigl was on Howard Stern’s SiriusXM show (via UsWeekly) this morning and she acted like she swallowed an entire humble pie factory when she groveled hard and apologized for some of the shit nuggets that have leaped off of her tongue in the past.
Howard brought up some of the things that pushed her career into the gutter. Howard asked Heigl about the time she shit all over Knocked Up by calling it “sexist” and saying that the movie painted all of the women as uptight shrews and the dudes as fun-loving. That got her on Seth Rogen and Judd Apatow’s blacklist, basically. She’s now backpedalling so hard her knees are going to fall off:
“I know, I always get into it … just stick my foot in [my mouth]. I liked the movie a lot. I just didn’t like me. [The character] was kind of like, she was so judgmental and kind of uptight and controlling and all these things and I really went with it while we were doing it, and a lot of it — Judd allows everyone to be very free and improvise and whatever — and afterwards I was like, ‘Why is that where I went with this? What an asshole she is!’
I was being interviewed for Vanity Fair. Like, I was on the cover of Vanity Fair, it was a huge big deal for me! And the journalist [Norman Jean Roy] was really, really lovely. I don’t mean to imply on any level that she trapped me … she just said, ‘You know a lot of women felt that it was a little sexist,’ so then I felt obligated to answer that and so I tried in my very sort of ungracious way to answer why I felt that it maybe was a little. If you read the whole quote, I’m just saying that can be the nature of broad comedy … but they just took the sexist thing out.”
Heigl admitted to Stern that badmouthing the movie while promoting it was a dumb move. At the time, she never reached out to Seth Rogen or Judd Apatow because she didn’t want to come off as insincere. Heigl’s head might not be stuck up her ass anymore (SPOILER ALERT: it probably still is), but it is stuck in a dreamworld. Because she says she wants to work with Seth Rogen again. The feeling is obviously not mutual. When she ran into Seth and Judd at a restaurant, they slapped her with the kind of cold shade you throw at an ex-bitch of a friend who has been talking shit about you to the whole school:
“I ran into him at a restaurant and I didn’t quite realize that it was as serious as it was … I walked up like, ‘Hey, guys!’ And they were like very, like, [really cold] and I was like, ‘Oh, you’re really mad, I didn’t realize that it was that bad.
I absolutely owe anyone an apology I unwittingly offended or disrespected. I get it. It was an immature dumbass moment.”
Howard also brought up the Grey’s Anatomy crap again. As everyone knows by now, Heigl told The Los Angeles Times that she didn’t submit herself for Emmy consideration because she didn’t think the writing was that great that season. Heigl told Howard that after she bit the hand that fed her, she went into Shonda Rhimes’ office to mouth fart out a (probably fake) apology:
“I went in because I was really embarrassed. So I went in to Shonda and said, ‘I’m so sorry. That wasn’t cool, and I should not have said that.’ And I shouldn’t have said anything publicly. But at the time, I didn’t think anyone would notice … I just quietly didn’t submit and then it became a story, and I felt I was obligated to make my statement, and … ‘Shut up, Katie.'”
Long after Heigl left Grey’s to become the movie star she never became, Shonda described the Scandal set as being a “no asshole” zone and said there were “no Heigls” in that situation. The Hollywood Reporter also published a long piece where they talked to people in the game who said that working with her and her crazy momager was about as fun as getting a rim job from a piranha. Heigl played the “woe is me” card with Howard when she said that she needed therapy to deal with being labeled difficult:
“I had never done therapy until a couple years ago. I started going because of the scrutiny. I was not handling it well. I was feeling completely like the biggest piece of shit on the bottom of your shoe. I was really struggling with it and how to not take it all personally and not to feel that there’s something really deeply wrong with me.”
It was a weird time. I remember doing this little independent movie and just being afraid to say anything about anything. I remember wearing shoes a size too small because I was afraid to tell wardrobe that they weren’t big enough because I didn’t want to be difficult. And after that, I was like, this is nonsense. Stop it.”
It seems like Katherine Heigl’s new career is apologizing to everyone she was an asshole to. That’s pretty much all she does now. When she’s not selling pussy toilet dirt on TV, she’s doing interviews where she’s passing an apology balloon bouquet to those who have blacklisted her. I wouldn’t be surprised if she funded a public access show called I’m Sowwy with Katherine Heigl where for an hour straight, she cries out sorry tears while on her knees. It would probably be better than her “comeback” show.
And here’s Katherine in NYC today with Hillary Clinton circa 2007 hair (hint hint to anybody producing a low-budget Hillary Clinton biopic).