That sound you just heard was every single nurse in that hospital enthusiastically volunteering for sponge bath duty. TMZ says that professional hunk Joe Manganiello had to take a trip to the hospital recently. Sources say Big Dick Richie had a big problem with his appendix last week (appendicitis), and his doctor decided to remove it. Evicting your appendix is one of those surgeries that sound like they’d be simple enough, like removing your tonsils or tightening the hole of your choice, but sometimes there are complications. And in Joe’s case, there were complications.
TMZ doesn’t know exactly what happened to Joe when they tried to remove his appendix, but one source claims his appendix burst. It probably stared for too long at Joe’s panty-dampening torso muscles and exploded from excessive horniness. Joe was supposed to bring his sexy self to an event on Sunday night, but he had to cancel because he was still in the hospital. However, Joe’s rep claims he missed that event on Sunday because of a “chronic condition.” His poor health also forced him to drop out the History Channel’s upcoming SEAL Team Six drama last week. Joe’s rep didn’t go into detail about that chronic condition, but TMZ maintains that it was his appendix that kept him from showing up.
Joe was still in the hospital as of last night, so now would probably be the right time to bring out your sexiest prayer candle and light it with your sexiest lighter. And I’m sure I speak for all of us when I say it would be nice to have frequent updates on his condition. For instance, please let us know when Joe is healthy enough to use his IV tower as a stripper pole. At the very least, prove Joe is doing alright by releasing a picture of him in an open-in-the-back hospital gown?