Who cares if Ricky Martin’s shirt looks like it’s covered in flattened cockroaches and stepped-on bunny poop? Who also cares if Ricky Martin’s face looks like it was reupholstered in pieces cut out from the sun-damaged leather Levitz couch my tia kept on her backyard patio for years? Who cares about any of that? I doubt Ricky Martin gives a fuck , because he’s too busy humping on his hot new piece.
A little over two years after 44-year-old Ricky broke up with Carlos Gonzalez Abella, he showed up to an amfAR event in São Paulo, Brazil on Saturday night with his new boyfriend, Syria-born, Sweden-raised and London-based artiste Jwan Yosef. Ricky posted a picture of himself and Jwan holding hands at that amfAR event on Instagram and added the caption, “Yup.” I’m guessing that’s short for, “Yup, I get to ride that hotness until my nalgas fall off.”
And because we’re all wondering, this is what Jwan’s nipples look like:
Since there’s no hair around his nipple plates, it looks like he’s got two eclipses on his chest. Get those eclipse nipples, Ricky. Ricky’s mouth currently belongs to his hot new piece, but at that amfAR event he temporarily rented them out in the name of charity. The Latin Times says that one of the items that was auctioned off during the event was a kiss from Ricky Martin. The owner of a pet resort named Ana Paola Diniz won the auction with a $90,000 bid and it looked like homegirl definitely tried to get her money’s worth. This is what a $90,000 kiss from Ricky Martin looks like:
I’m surprised she didn’t say afterward, “Um, Ricky your boyfriend needs to eat more pineapple,” because it looked she went so far in that she could taste everything that had been in his mouth in the past week. Damn.
And here’s more pictures from that amfAR event including some of Kate Moss looking like she just auditioned for Chicago.