And Now For A Story About Coke, Weed, And Strippers Starring Country Singer Zac Brown

It’s Friday, and what better thing to prepare you for the potential messiness of the weekend than a tale about a country star getting busted for coke and weed in a room full of strippers in Florida. This one comes courtesy of a country singer named Zac Brown of the Zac Brown Band. If you’ve ever gotten your car radio stuck on a country channel, you might know Zac Brown as the guy who sings the song “Chicken Fried.” I’m sure for most of us, he’s little more than the beefy, bearded, n’ bald version of Chris O’Donnell we’re looking at in the picture above. But really, you don’t need to know anything about Zac Brown to appreciate the messiness of this story, so let’s get into it.

According to TMZ, it all started around 2:30am last Friday in Palm Beach, Florida. Police were called to the Four Seasons to check on a “suspicious” car parked out front. The cops found a man with more than 30 grams of cocaine inside. When asked why he was there, he told them he came with two girls who were upstairs in one of the hotel rooms. A man waiting in a car outside a hotel with a bag of coke for two girls at 2:30am is shady as hell, so the police went upstairs to investigate the situation further. That’s when the police found 9 people partying in a room with a whole lot of drugs. One guy was arrested for weed. And two girls, who turned out to be two of five strippers, were busted for coke. Zac Brown was found with a bunch of pills that he was unable to prove he had a prescription for.

Usually getting busted with prescription pills is a one-way trip to bad time town, however Zac didn’t get written up that night. In fact, it was Zac who was doing the writing. TMZ says that the police turned into a bunch of Zac Brown Band fanboys when they realized who they were busting, and asked him for his autograph. Then they proceeded to erase his name from their report. I’m surprised they didn’t also shove the strippers off the bed, fork over $105 each, and beg Zac to put on a mini concert. When asked for comment, Zac’s publicist also pulled a “Pills? What pills?” and had no comment on it.

Now a source is telling TMZ that Zac is an innocent boy scout who knew nothing about the strippers and coke and weed, and it was totally his friend’s fault. Zac was hanging out with a bad-influence Florida friend earlier that evening who brought him to the stripper drug party at the Four Seasons. They claim Zac was only in the hotel room for 10 minutes before police busted in and saved him from such depravity. They do say he had pills on him, but that only a mere two pills were of mysterious origin. As for the police scrubbing his name from their police report, they did it because Zac has a wife and kids and didn’t want to be associated with such unsavory drama.

Let’s see, who to believe, who to believe. You know, I think I’m inclined to believe that “source” (aka Zac speaking into an empty pill bottle in an attempt to disguise his voice). Anyone who has ever been invited to a 2:30am Florida hotel party knows that there’s a 50% chance it will end in the police hauling away a bunch of coked-up strippers. Sometimes it ends with everyone eating chicken wings form Publix while watching Speed 2 on TBS. Now, if Zac’s friend told him they’d be going to swing by a cheap motel in Tampa, then that’s a whole different story. There’s a really good chance you’ll find coked-up stripper trouble at that party.

Pic: Splash