Hot Slut Of The Day!

April 13, 2016 / Posted by:

Inky, the master escape artist who went full Shawshank Redemption when he escaped out of his prison cell (read: his tank at the National Aquarium of New Zealand) and slid his way to sweet, sweet freedom!

I would call Inky a regular El Chapo, but as far as I know, he’s not a diabolical drug kingpin, he didn’t have a team of minions helping him to bust out of that bitch, and there’s no way he’d ever give his first post-break-out interview to chewed-up piece of charbroiled steak fat Sean Penn. But like El Chapo, El Inky made a daring escape out of his tank before disappearing into sea. The Guardian says that the staff believe that someone accidentally left the lid to Inky’s tank slightly ajar overnight and the smart trick took that opportunity to check out of there when everyone went home for the night and the place was empty.

The staff has two theories as to how he got out into the wild. One theory is that he went to the top of his tank, threw himself over the side, slid down to the floor and made his way to a drainpipe that goes directly to the ocean. You know that the Mission: Impossible theme song played in his octopus head when he pulled that move. The other theory is that after he got out of his tank, he squeezed his body into an open pipe above his house, which led under the floor to the drain. Whatever the case may be, the bitch is now FREE!

The manager at the aquarium doesn’t think that Inky bye bitch’d out of there because he hates their asses. They believe he’s just curious.

“Octopuses are famous escape artists. But Inky really tested the waters here. I don’t think he was unhappy with us, or lonely, as octopus are solitary creatures. But he is such a curious boy. He would want to know what’s happening on the outside. That’s just his personality.”

Inky may not hate the staff of the aquarium, but I bet his roommate hates him. Inky left behind a tank companion who is probably cursing his name, because he didn’t take them with him and now the aquarium is probably going to put bricks on the lid! Inky was brought to the aquarium in 2014 after a local fisherman found him fighting with fish on a reef. So yup, brace yourselves, fishies, because Hood Rat Stuff Inky is back, bitches!

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