Open Post: Hosted By Nyle DiMarco Shaking His Shit While In Tarzan Drag

April 12, 2016 / Posted by:

Mischa Barton was the second trick voted off of Dancing with the Stars last week (RIP to whatever was left her career), and so producers should’ve officially changed the name of their show to Dancing with Some Trick You Have To Google Because You Have No Idea Who They Are. Why call it Dancing with the Stars when the show’s only star is now gone. But they kept the name and have found a way to go on without Mischa.

Last night’s theme was Disney, and Nyle DiMarco, the winner of America’s Next Top Model 22 and the second deaf person to compete on DWTS, slipped on a loincloth and dropped Kylie Jenner’s invention on his head to dance the Samba as Tarzan. Every time Nyle dances, DWTS judge Bruno Tonioli seems to cream himself. So I’m guessing after last night’s Tarzan dance, Bruno had to be rushed to the hospital and hooked up to an IV drip full of fluids after he jizzed out all the liquids in his body. I don’t really blame him.

And note to the makers of The Legend of Tarzan movie starring Alexander Skarsgard: THIS is what Tarzan’s costume should’ve looked like. Well, not totally like this. They should’ve made it about 3 inches shorter and cut out ass cheek windows in the back.

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