Those lazy British royals Prince William and Duchess Kate are finally earning their room and board by waving, smiling and shaking hands at events. Princess William and Duchess Kate are currently on an all-expenses paid luxurious tour through India and Bhutan. When you’re slumped over in your cubicle at around 4:45 pm today after crashing from all the coffee you injected into your veins to deal with your annoying co-workers, remember that you could have it a lot worse. You could be doing hard labor by shaking hands while wearing designer outfits through India.
P. Willy and DK arrived in India yesterday for their 6-day royal tour and so far they’ve been to a ton of events and Kate has had more outfit changes than my bougie friend at her quinceañera. Yesterday, DK wore Krissy Snow’s old wedges while playing cricket (see, I wasn’t joking about the hard labor) and she wore some fancy dress by Temperley to a garden party celebrating THE QUEEN turning 90 on April 21st. Yes, someone threw a birthday party for THE QUEEN and she didn’t even show up. That sort of reminds me of the time we threw a birthday party for my abuelita and she spent most of the party eating tamales and cake in her room while watching Sabado Gigante. She made the right choice.
Today, P. Willy and DK visited a war memorial in Delhi, and she wore a dress with titty pockets on it while doing so. There’s no bigger perv out there than the wind, because it kept trying to pick up her dress as she walked and also when she laid down a wreath at the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier. (The unknown soldier thanks the wind for that panty flash.) England has barely recovered from the scandal of Duchess Kate’s nalgitas ending up in a German tabloid and now this! THE QUEEN is either going to demand that weights be sew into the hem of all of DK’s skirts, or THE QUEEN is going to hire a bunch of little people to hold her skirt down as they follow her ass around. Because England cannot take another royal ass cheeks scandal!
And since mummy and daddy are on a business trip, I’m guessing that Prince George’s weekday nanny is currently running down the lawn of Kensington Palace while slapping at her head, because he “accidentally” set her hair on fire.