And now for a story most 12-year-olds will be able to relate to. 50 Cent was a bad boy in bankruptcy court and the adult in charge took his phone away as punishment. According to TMZ, that Judge Ann Nevins wasn’t playing when she said she didn’t want to see anymore Instagram pictures of 50 Cent’s allegedly-broke ass posing with stacks of allegedly-fake cash. The last time 50 was in bankruptcy court to discuss said pictures, he took a picture of himself with thousands of dollars stuffed into his pants while he was eating M&Ms. You know, as one does when one goes to court.
Apparently that picture was taken while his hearing was still in progress. When Judge Ann found out about it, she banned all cellphones and electronic devices from the courtroom and all conference rooms at 50’s hearing yesterday. Judge Ann is your auntie who yanks your Sega Game Gear out of your hands at the dinner table, knocks out the batteries, and hisses “I don’t care how many Sonic the Hedgehogs you have left.”
Judge Ann’s main reason for banning cellphones is this: Instagramming pictures of money in the same place where you’re trying to argue that you’re too broke to pay your creditors makes a mockery of his case. Somewhere, Captain Obvious got very scared that Judge Ann just put him out of a job.
Without his phone, how will 50 Cent show everyone that his trips to bankruptcy court are all a big joke to him? Maybe he could start showing up to court in famous rich people cosplay, like Mr. Monopoly or Richie Rich. What am I saying? I’m sure he’s being fitted for a pair of tiny blue shorts and a little red bow tie as we speak. Don’t forget to leave some room in the waistband for several stacks of $100s!