Janet Jackson Has Pressed Pause On Her Tour (Again) Because She’s Knocked Up, Or Trying To Get Knocked Up
So I guess Janet Jackson’s “Unbreakable” world tour is pretty damn breakable after all, because she announced early this morning that the second leg of it isn’t going to happen anytime soon. Janet said in a video message that she needs to step away so that she and her billionaire piece husband Wissam Al Mana can make a family. 49-year-old Janet didn’t say if she’s currently got a CASE OF THE BABIES or what, but she did say that she needs to rest per doctor’s orders. Some think that because she’s about to turn 50, she either got pregnant via IVF or is about to start IVF. Miss Janet promised that the tour will pick up again, but her fans shouldn’t exert themselves by holding their breaths, because if she coochie burps out a baby, the postponements won’t stop. You know how people (even people with a team of nannies) are. She’s going to postpone again when little LaToya Jr. (I’m assuming that’s what she’s going to name it) gets a cough, can’t sleep, wants to go see the new Cars movie, etc…
JJ’s first tour in four years opened last August, and problems started almost out of the gate. She postponed shows in October due to “medical reasons” and she postponed more in December, because she needed surgery. There was a rumor that she had cancer, but she shit on that rumor. In January, she postponed more dates, including a bunch of dates in Europe. Page Six said at the time that the dates were canceled because nobody bought tickets. Well, JJ has postponed the rest of the dates, because of her baby situation. Here’s the message she tweeted to her fans this morning:
A message from Janet…https://t.co/KrzYZ4eyvD
— Janet Jackson (@JanetJackson) April 6, 2016
So, let’s see this… This baby is going to have a billionaire daddy AND it will be able to call La Toya Jackson its auntie? Hmmm… I’ve come up with a way that Janet can still be a mother to a newborn-acting human and continue on with the tour. If she really wants to take care of a human who is barely coherent, pisses on itself all the time, is needy, hates walking and drools, she should just adopt me! It’s a perfect solution. Although, I have just one request. I need to be breastfed…by her hot billionaire piece.