That dead chunk of rotting meat I call a heart actually beat and felt warmth for a quick second this morning after I found out that Blac Chyna and Rob Kartrashian’s mutual love of making the Botox in his family’s faces boil with rage has led them to getting engaged for attention.
Early this morning, Kylie Jenner’s fake face, lips and ass idol, Blac Chyna, farted up her and Rob’s latest attention whore stunt on Instagram and SnapChat. The silicone-stuffed thorn in the Kartrashians’ bleached and waxed assholes posted a picture on Instagram of her just casually showing off a giant $325,000 7-carat diamond ring that evil garden gnome Ryan Seacrest probably bought for Rob in exchange for the television rights to their wedding and their divorce, which will happen two weeks later. Rob does look happy and that could be because just like his brother-in-law Kanye West, he’s into some fingers-in-the-booty rough play action and seeing Blac Chyna’s talons of elegance has made his b-hole wiggle. Yes, he’ll be shitting out acrylic tips for days, but that’s a small price to pay for a hot prostate poking.
TMZ (of course) has all the riveting details. They say that Rob proposed to Blac Chyna last night, and after she said yes, they celebrated by whoring it up in front of the paps outside Ace of Diamonds strip club.
Most of the members of the Kartrashian koven are on some “mystery” vacation, so I love that Rob probably ruined their time with the news that Blac Chyna may become Blac Khyna Kartrashian. But he didn’t ruin Pimp Mama Kris’ day. He did the opposite. PMK had to excuse herself from her hos and go to a quiet place where she cried Satanic tears of happiness, because the son who brought embarrassment upon her family was finally showing that he’s as much of a petty fame whore as they are! Pimp Mama Kris has never felt so proud!