Somewhere deep in the bowels of the Scientology Centre bath house, a team of massage therapists are working the tensed-up knots out of John Travolta’s body (you decided where those tensed-up knots are) as he seethes over these pictures of Jonathan Rhys Meyers’ lush mop delicately blowing in the French air. John Travolta has to troll the finest taxidermy boutiques in Beverly Hills to find the creatures he wears on his head while JRM’s luxurious mane is naturally grown (I think). Fair: Life isn’t!
While looking like he just fell out of a European Lens Crafters ad, JRM and his stunning hair posed with Anika Noni Rose and Sookeh Stackhouse at a photo call for the History Channel’s Roots at the MipTV conference in Cannes today. Not pictured are all of the people behind the cameras who are slapping at their hands to keep themselves from gently stroking JRM’s gorgeous hair and/or shaving off that scraggly pussy patch on his chin.
And yes, I said Roots. You may be wondering why two out of three of the actors at a photo call for Roots are white. Well, this Roots is actually a ten-part mini-series about the rise of the JcPenney salon in the 70s and 90s. No, it’s really a remake of that Roots. The rest of the cast must have missed their flights. Yeah, that’s it.
Here’s more from today’s photo call as well as pictures of JRM and his fiancee at the premiere gala for Roots Rebooted.