While pop trick Katy Perry was off trying to be a country trick at the Academy of Country Music Awards in Las Vegas, the ex-Princess Buttercup of Country (no offense to Princess Buttercup or country) Taylor Swift was off being a pop trick at the iHeartRadio Awards in Los Angeles.
I didn’t watch that shit last night, because I decided to watch some real entertainment (see: Dolly on the ACM Awards, the Real Housewives of Atlanta reunion and Golden Girls reruns) instead, but apparently Try Hard Barbie and her boyfriend Try Hard Ken were the insufferable queen and king of the iFartRadio prom. Taylor won an award for Best Tour and when she accepted it, she pretty much pulled out a paper bag book cover, wrote the name “Adam Wiles” (cool DJ name: Calvin Harris) on it and then drew a pink Sharpie heart around it.
Taylor blew out this eye roll-inducing air kiss at her boyfriend while accepting her award:
“For the first time I had the most amazing person to come home to when the crowds were all gone and the spotlight went out so I’d like to thank my boyfriend Adam for that.”
Calvin Harris also won some award, and while Tay Tay sat there thinking to herself, “Please thank me like we rehearsed so we can trend on Twitter for the next 3 hours,” he didn’t thank her at all. Big mistake, Adam! I bet that as a gift for him thanking her in his speech last night, Taylor was going to let him heavy pet her over her clothes while watching Pretty Little Liars together with the lights off, but he fucked that gift away when he failed to thank her. Adam dun goofed.
Taylor didn’t perform last night, but her friend Selena Gomez’s on-and-off piece Justin Bieber did. While working those sad Grinch finger dreads (copyright: Twitter), the Biebs performed “Love Yourself” and “Company,” and afterward, the camera cut to his biggest fan Taylor Swift half-assed clapping before rinsing the taste of Canadian barf from her mouth with water. Yes, E! and I may be reaching so hard that we pulled every nerve in our arms, but it’s Monday, so just go with it!
— E! Online (@eonline) April 4, 2016
But really, Taylor’s behavior switch is usually set to “Really Damn Extra” when she’s at awards shows. She sings along, gets up and dances as the people behind her probably wish that a wrecking ball would take her out so they can actually see what’s happening on the stage. So Taylor acting like a normal person during and after the Biebs’ performance IS shade. I almost like her for that.
And here’s pictures from last night of Calvin Harris, Selena Gomez, Taylor Swift (who is posing so hard that her butt pads almost fell off) and Justin Bieber looking like The Weeknd’s loser third cousin The Weekdy.