Rihanna released the video for “Kiss It Better” earlier today. “Kiss It Better” sounds sort of like the Marshmallow Mateys version of a Prince song, so naturally I immediately pictured the video for it would feature RiRi in full-Purple Rain The Kid drag, grinding on a motorcycle while a stripper dressed as Apollonia purifies herself in the waters of Lake Pussytonka. Instead, what we got was 4 minutes and 8 seconds of a horned-up (and sometimes topless) Rihanna getting what appears to be fucked by a ghost. She also lets the ghost shoot dice on her crotch. It’s 10000x better than what I had originally hoped for. The video is NSFW, thanks to a special appearance by RiRi’s pierced nipples in a see-through cami and some black-and-white sideboob.
I don’t know for sure if Rihanna is having sex with a ghost. I’m really just basing that off the part at the 1:10 mark where it looks like some invisible dick is causing her to levitate. And the part at 2:47 mark where it looks like a ghost is going down on her. The only way I could be sure that RiRi is having sex with a ghost is if she released an extended video for “Kiss It Better” that shows her requesting an Uber and telling no one in particular to hurry up because it will be downstairs in 10 minutes.
Either way, I’m sure whatever is happening has caused a jealous Drake to start looking up hot ghosts on Facebook and trying to figure out which one stole his position as Rihanna’s favorite video co-star.
Here’s Rihanna walking around New York City yesterday looking like a high-class escort from The Matrix.