The bald dude next to Elton John is his former bodyguard Jeffrey Wenninger who is suing Vladimir Putin’s favorite gay (in his head) for allegedly putting his paws in places they shouldn’t have gone. Jeffrey has hit Elton with a sexual harassment lawsuit, and claims that during the 12 years he worked for Elton, he was groped many times, but it got “more frequent and intense” after the 2010. Warning: Before you read anymore, schedule a session with a hypnotist, because you will want them to use their powers to hypnotize the images from this story out of your head.
The Wrap says that in Jeffrey’s lawsuit, he specifically states three separate instances that allegedly happened in 2014. In March 2014, Jeffrey claims that he was riding in the back of a car with Elton, when he alleges that Rocket Perv grabbed at his down low parts and got into his pants. Jeffrey says that Elton “tried to force his fingers between Plaintiff’s buttock cheeks” and attempted “to grab Plaintiff’s genitals both over and under his clothing.” While Elton was allegedly earning the nickname Elton the Molester, he told Jeffrey to “get your todger out” and “say hello to Uncle Elton.”
Jeffrey says in his lawsuit that he verbally and physically let Elton John know that he didn’t want to say hello to “Uncle Elton” in any way, but that didn’t stop “Uncle Elton.”
A month after the incident in the car allegedly went down, Jeffrey says that Elton twisted his nipples while saying, “You have so many gay genes in you, they just haven’t met up yet.”
Jeffrey claims that many more not-right-moments like that happened before he eventually stopped working for Elton John in 2014. Even though Elton was allegedly groping him for years, Jeffrey didn’t quit or report the incidents to the private security company he was working for at the time. His security company dropped him from Elton’s detail. Jeffrey believes that he was dropped because he accused a fellow officer of overtime theft. Jeffrey alleges that the security company retaliated against him by removing him from Elton’s team. And this part will summon all the question marks: Jeffrey found out he was dropped from Elton’s detail when he requested to work with Elton again. Jeffrey’s lawyer wouldn’t say why he made that request. He’s also suing the private security company.
Jeffrey says he has suffered emotional, physical and mental pain. He’s suing for damages. Elton John’s team has already hit back, and they’re saying that Jefferey’s lawsuit is about as authentic as Elton’s “hair.” Elton’s lawyer said in a statement given to the Associated Press that Jeffrey is just looking for some cash:
“This baseless lawsuit is brought by a disgruntled former security officer seeking to extract an undeserved payment. These claims are patently untrue and contradicted by numerous previous statements made by this plaintiff.”
I think I speak for all of us when I ask, who do we file a class-action lawsuit against for damaging our already damaged-to-hell-and-back brains with images of Elton John saying, “Say hello to Uncle Elton“? I need an adult now.