Melissa Etheridge Almost Asked Brad Pitt For His Baby Batter Back In The Day

In “BREAKING NEWS if the year was 1996” news, Melissa Etheridge said in an interview with Australia’s Studio 10 (via People) that when she and her then-partner Julie Cypher were looking to have kids, they almost asked their then-good friend Brad Pitt to bust a load of baby-making leche into a plastic cup for them. This was all the way back in the olden days of the mid-90s before he was married to Jennifer Aniston and before he became the patriarch of the world’s holiest family. Melissa says that they ultimately decided not to ask Brad Pitt and instead asked David Crosby to jack out a nut for them.

Before Melissa and Julie told the world that their daughter Bailey Jean (now 19) and their son Beckett (now 17) were fathered by David Crosby, there were rumors that Brad Pitt was their children’s bio dad. Melissa said this about that:

“Well actually, [Brad Pitt] was such a good friend of mine, and we did consider it. And yet, I looked and I saw how badly he wanted children and I thought, ‘I don’t want to share this with someone who really, badly wants children because my children don’t need another parent – they have two.’

Of course, my teenagers now are like, ‘I could have had Brad Pitt [as my dad]!’ My son said, ‘I could’ve been amazingly handsome!’ “

Melissa says that she and Julie eventually decided to ask David Crosby, because he and his wife already had their own children.

Melissa and Brad were such good friends back then that she even sang at his wedding with Jennifer Aniston. They apparently stopped being friends sometime after he got with St. Angie Jolie. Who knows if Brad Pitt ever called his old friend to talk to her about her saying that St. Angie Jolie getting a double mastectomy wasn’t very brave.

You know how they say that if one moment in your life went differently, your entire life after that probably would’ve gone differently? So if Melissa’s children were fathered by Brad Pitt instead of David Crosby, she may not have eventually gotten with Tammy Lynn Michaels. If she never got with Tammy Lynn Michaels, she would’ve never (allegedly) cheated on Tammy Lynn Michaels. If she never (allegedly) cheated on Tammy Lynn Michaels, we wouldn’t have gotten the priceless haiku about Melissa’s new box of dicks. In other words, we should all be thankful for David Cosby’s jizz.

And here’s pictures of a mid-90s Brad Pitt looking like an Archie Comics extra while hanging around with a mid-90s Goopy Paltrow:

Pics: Getty, Splash