Dawson Had Another Baby

March 26, 2016 / Posted by:

Doo-do do do do, Doo-do do do do, I don’t wanna wait, for our lives to be over, to have another god damn kid. For some, this life is a place to go forth and prosper from the loins. For others, like me, its a place to yell at people, “ma’am! Your child is out of control and that is why I am hitting him/her repeatedly in the face!” Gentle souls like me look at the other side and pity the commitment they’ve made to wiping butts, paying college tuition and having to pretend to like the people they date during the experimental phase. But I guess Dawson likes that shit. Kinky bitch. Sick bitch.

James Van Der Beek and his wife, Kimberly Brook have welcomed their fourth dependant into the world, Emilia. They have three other little ones, Olivia, 5, Joshua, 4 and Annabel, 2. Get the kid a rattle and a pacifier so I can sit her down and tell her about the true ugliness in this world. She needs to know! He announced the birth via Instagram:

In the spirit of this holiday weekend, I wish them all the best and how wonderful to have new life come into the world during this time of celebrating birth and rebirth and all that shit. Congrats guys. And congrats to all of us for getting that Paula Cole song stuck in our heads.

Pic: Wenn

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