Seen above looking more natural and charismatic than usual, the Spice Girls are reportedly putting together a big tour to celebrate the 20th anniversary of the release of their first single “Wannabe.” Yes, it’s been 20 years since “Wannabe” came out. Yeah, so when you get your nursing home van service to swing by and pick me up for the show, make sure they leave enough room for my walker. Because I’m going to need something sturdy to hang onto when I shake my replaced hip and drop it as low as my knees can take me when the Spice Girls perform “Holler.” Life Alert better double their staff, because we’re all going to be hitting that button when we’ve twerked and can’t get up at the Spice Girls show.
The Spice Girls did a worldwide reunion tour in 2007-2008 and Wikipedia says it brought in around $70 million. They must think that there’s more money where that came from, because UsWeekly says that Scary Spice, Sporty Spice, Baby Spice and Ginger Spice have been planning a 20th anniversary tour for months. Since Posh Spice is the Olsens of the Spice Girls, she has made it clear that she’s hung up her little Gucci dress for good. When the rumors of another reunion tour came up earlier this year, Posh said through her rep that her pop trick days are over. The Posh-less Spice Girls are planning to go on without her. UsWeekly’s source dribbled this out:
“This has been in the works for the past year. The girls have long been keen to do a major reunion tour together. They are trying to convince Victoria to jump in, but she doesn’t want to do it. If she doesn’t agree, they are moving ahead without her.”
The source says that Posh may film something with them for the tour and she may do a cameo at a show or two, but she’s not going to sing and dance. Well, she never sang and danced before, so why start now?
When I saw the Spice Girls, Posh just stood there like a really snobby broom and just pointed and sort of moved her lips. But yet, she’s my favorite Spice Girls, so seeing a Spice Girls show without her is like going to Red Lobster when I know that they’re out of Cheddar Bay biscuits. Wait, did I just compare Posh to a calories-filled ball of dough and cheese? RIP Me. Besides, I doubt there’s enough money to build a gigantic glass wall that’ll keep the plebeian breath of Spice Girl fans from touching Posh’s skin.