How Dare The City Of New York Tell Her Madgesty That She Can’t Put Illegal “No Parking” Signs In Front Of Her Mansion
TMZ says that Empress of the Upper East Side, Madonna, has gotten into some trouble the City of New York, because she put fake no parking signs in front of her $40 million mega-townhouse. TMZ seems to think that Madge has claimed some street parking spaces in front of her Illuminati lair (old pictures of it are in the gallery) and that those street parking spaces don’t belong to her. Madge’s minions went all out. They put up a “Tenant Parking Only” sign, embedded the sidewalk with the words “No Parking” and painted the curb bright yellow. They did it without getting permission from the city. Sneaky whores. Madge IS your shifty auntie who puts an old traffic ticket on her windshield when parking in a no parking zone and has tried to buy an illegal handicap placard on the black market.
TMZ posted pictures of Madge’s street parking sign scheme, and well, if you’re going to be a bold bitch and put up illegal parking signs, this is how you do it:
A neighbor is the one who brought Madonna’s street parking sign scheme to an end. They tell TMZ that they saw a dude putting up the signs, and when they asked him about it, he said, “We know the right people.” Ten waves of suspiciousness covered that neighbor and they knew something in the milk was probably ILLEGAL. They contacted NYC’s Department of Transportation who contacted Madge’s minions and let them know that they better remove those fake signs and repaint the curb. The NYDN says that some of the street space was in front of her driveway, but it looks like she wanted even more space to get her big ass SUVs in and out. One neighbor brought the shadiness when they said this to The Daily Mail:
“At first we thought it made sense as often you see middle age fans trying to catch a glimpse of her, so it looked like she had a permit to have them so she could come and go without being annoyed. We’re now troubled that they could be fake as this just seems so entitled. What has angered us the very most is that when she leaves one of her staff literally walks into the street and stops cars and pedestrians from passing. This way she can leave from inside the garage and not have to deal with the public. It’s really quite obnoxious and we all joke that she is playing ‘Bitch I’m Madonna’ as her chauffeured car drives her by all of us minions waiting on the street for her to pass.”
Madge probably pays zillions in property taxes, not to mention that she probably keeps the local hospitals in business from all of the virgins who have to be treated there after she sucks most of the blood out of them. So the City of New York owes her and should really close the entire street off in front of her mansion. They should also pave the sidewalk and street in gold, and hire extra police officers to tase any peasant who dare get near her kingdom! That’s the least they should do. And you know, the neighbors who talked shit about her better pack up their things and move to a remote cabin in the middle of a hydrangea field, because she’s going to track them down and bury them under the curb where that yellow line is. They’re gonna get it!
UPDATE: Bishes, Madge left this comment on Instagram about this SCANDAL.
Yes Bishes I am Madonna and that is my driveway and if people park in front of it i cant drive in my driveway! So sorry the city doesn’t like the color yellow! We will paint a nice dull grey to keep our neighbors happy! Sorry! Im saying 3 extra Hail Mary’s this Easter for this transgression!