Open Post: Chelsea Handler’s Naked Birthday Gift To Laura Jeanne Poon

March 22, 2016 / Posted by:

If I was Chelsea Handler’s friend and it was my born day, the absolute last thing I’d want as a gift would be a naked selfie of her. First of all, everyone has seen it and everyone can sketch her nakedness from memory. Second of all, talk about a cheap ass gift. This didn’t cost a damn thing. It’s a “gift” that everyone has had and has gotten for free. It’s like giving someone a fart in a jar. A really needy fart that always wants to show you its tits. But because Chelsea Handler is always trying to score as many thirst points as possible, she used her friend Reese Witherspoon’s birthday as an excuse to post this selfie of her wearing nothing but black socks and a cooch-covering hand pad on Instagram. Some (almost) poon for Laura Jeanne Poon! Chelsea added this caption to the pic:

Happy Birthday @reesewitherspoon

But really, Chelsea probably posted this for real to show chipotle-infused douche Bobby Flay what he’s missing out on. And he’s missing out on a lot, because you know Chelsea squirts 100 proof vodka.

Pic: Instagram

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