Hot Slut Of The Day!
The Hot Dog on a Stick hat!
Every single damn day, we hear about how it’s National Something Or Another Day and I keep waiting for it to be National There’s No Dumb Stupid Made-Up Holiday To Tweet About Today Day. Today isn’t that day and I thank the deep fried processed meat gods for that, because it’s apparently National Corndog Day! If you have to work today, you should tell your boss to either pay your ass double time (so you can buy more corndogs) or let you go home, because it is an important national holiday. If you get the day off for Jesus’ born day, you should definitely get the day off to celebrate the delicious deep fried treasure that looks like a dildo sent from heaven.
On this National Corndog Day, let’s pay tribute to a real American icon: the Hot Dog on a Stick hat! In case you don’t know, Hot Dog on a Stick is a glamorous food emporium in the mall that’s known for their corndogs, lemonade and hot style. When I was a kid and would eat a world-class international gourmet meal (read: a Hot Dog on a Stick, orange chicken from Panda Express and a slice of cheese pizza from Sbarro) in the mall food court, I’d stare at the Hot Dog on a Stick girls with pure jealousy. While the dudes wore boring ass caps, the ladies got to bring the multi-colored fast food glamour with their outfits. A dream job to me was working that thimble hat while stomping lemons into lemonade. The Hot Dog on a Stick girls were, to me, the stars of the food court. They delivered deliciousness, a lemonade stomping show and fashion! And they’ve never looked at me funny when I’ve asked them to leave some room at the top of my lemonade for my “medicine.” So let’s raise a corndog to them and their hot hats!
Happy National Corndog Day, everyone!
Pic: Hot Dog On A Stick