My pick (for the Susie’s Deals reference alone) and upvote winner:
This little piggy smokes in the car with her kids
This little piggy is a lot lizard madam
This little piggy shoplifts from Susie’s Deals
This little piggy gets in fist fights at the swap meet
And this little piggy goes wee wee wee in the back alley behind Sizzler – Trixster
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