“Hey Kris, it’s your favorite former douche-in-law, Scott. Listen, I think I got a story line for KUWTK that you might be interested in. I mean, it’s not that juicy, but when it comes to Kourtney’s boring-ass character, you take what you can get, right?”
The last time we checked in on Scott Disick’s tacky nouveau riche penis, it was rubbing against an 18-year-old Canadian model named Lindsay Vrckovnik. Sadly, they broke up, because Scott most likely got tired of having to make small talk with her parents in the living room every time he came to pick her up. She’s now been replaced with another model.
According to UsWeekly, Scott’s newest girlfriend is a 20-year-old model named Christine Burke who looks a whole hell of a lot like the 20-year-old sister of his ex.
— Daily Mail Celebrity (@DailyMailCeleb) March 17, 2016
UsWeekly says Scott and the Designer Imposters version of Kendall Jenner have been banging for a few weeks. It’s also apparently serious enough that Scott brought her to Joe Francis’ Casa del Dirtbag in Punta Mita, Mexico earlier this month.
Scott’s new girlfriend doesn’t look exactly like Kendall (I’m also getting She’s All That-era Rachael Leigh Cook). But that shouldn’t stop the producers of KUWTK from making this lookalike Kendall situation work to their advantage. If I’ve learned anything from soap operas, it’s that there’s no better way to grab some ratings than by introducing a long-lost twin. And it would be so easy: just change Christine to Kristine and make up something about her and Kendall being accidentally separated at birth. Sure it’s a bit of a stretch, but it’s still more believable than the storyline about Kendall’s “relationship” with Harry Styles.
Here’s more of Scott Disick doing…whatever it is Scott Disick does, as well as the real Kendall Jenner at a Lakers game earlier this week with teenage lipgloss mogul Kylie Jenner.