Rihanna Wants You To Know That Beyonce Wasn’t Trying To Steal Her “Anti” Thunder With The Release Of “Formation”
At the end of January, Rihanna’s long-awaited 8th studio album, Anti, finally made its way onto the internet. Because Beyonce is a truly generous soul, she waited a whole week before grabbing her hook and yanking the spotlight back onto herself by dropping the video for “Formation.” Sadly, she didn’t wait as long before announcing her Formation tour, which just so happens to be happening at the exact same time as Rihanna’s Anti tour. Beyonce’s generous, but she’s not running a charity here, people.
Rihanna didn’t have to say how she felt about the situation with Beyonce (her subtle Twitter shading did that for her). But she decided to talk about it during a recent interview with Vogue. Despite the fact that the entire world let out a collective Church Lady-style “How conveeeenient” after Beyonce released the video for “Formation“, RiRi says it’s not like that.
“Here’s the deal. They just get so excited to feast on something that’s negative. Something that’s competitive. Something that’s, you know, a rivalry. And that’s just not what I wake up to. Because I can only do me. And nobody else is going to be able to do that.”
“Nobody else can do Rihanna, eh? Challenge accepted” thought Rita Ora, before recording a song called “Job” into her iPhone.
Obviously Rihanna is saying what needs to be said to prevent an all-out war between the Beyhive and the Navy. But she is probably telling the truth when she says that a rivalry with Beyonce is “not what I wake up to.” I wouldn’t put it past Beyonce to send one of her minions to stand outside Rihanna’s bedroom window every morning with a megaphone shouting a friendly reminder that there’s no competition between the two of them. “The time is 8:02am and Beyonce is still unquestionably the greatest living artist in the world. That is all.”
Rihanna also confessed to Vogue what her greatest regret is. And no, it’s not that busted Sideshow Bob wig. It’s that she didn’t go the extra glamour mile by wearing a sparkly vagina-shield under her see-through dress at the CFDA awards in 2014.
“I just liked it better without the lines underneath. Could you imagine the CFDA dress with a bra? I would slice my throat. I already wanted to, for wearing a thong that wasn’t bedazzled. That’s the only regret I have in my life.” Wearing a thong that wasn’t bedazzled is your greatest regret in life? “To the CFDA Awards. Yes.”
I just pictured a 99-year-old Rihanna laying on her death bed in a slutty see-through-on-purpose hospital gown, holding the hand of an elderly Drake and confessing that if she should go back and do it all over again, the only thing she’d change is that bedazzled thong. And I was like “Yeah, that seems about right.” Speaking of razzle dazzle, here’s more of RiRi serving up high-end Solid Gold dancer in Vogue.