Open Post: Hosted By Zoe Kravitz Serving Up Caught In The Net Messiness

March 15, 2016 / Posted by:

I almost typed “methiness.” That works too.

I’m also with Theo James (the dude in the poster). When I look at Zoe Kravitz’s hair, I too don’t know if I want to slather it with soy sauce and take a huge bite out of it since it looks like an overstuffed spicy tuna roll. Or slather it with lube, pat my b-hole thrice for good luck and bounce on it.

Last night was the NYC premiere of the second movie in the Divergent series, the franchise that is the Rita Ora to The Hunger Games’ RiRi. Nearly everybody showed up looking a wreck (see the fuckery in gallery). Maggie Q came dressed as a bordello-owning villainess who wears the scalped hair of her victims on her dress. Dylan McDermott wore the half-assed Neo from The Matrix costume that every dude wore in 1999. And Shailene Woodley somehow managed to make one of Walter Mercado’s favorite funeral-going pantsuits look dull and boring. But Zoe Kravitz was the biggest wreck of them all. Leave it to Lenny Kravitz and Lisa Bonet’s daughter to show those hos how messiness is really done.

If the Gorton’s Fisherman did a line of goth stripper clothes for Frederick’s, that ensemble on Zoe would be the crown jewel of his collection. Zoe is kind of like a walking sex party. You can use her hair as a dildo, her dress as a sex hammock and those fringes as whips. Whenever you make assholes and coochies pucker with your hairstyle, you won the night.

Pics: Wenn.com

Our commenting rules are pretty simple: If you make any overly offensive comment (racist, bigoted, etc..) or go way off topic when not in an Open Post, your comments will be deleted and you will be banned. If you see an offensive or spammy comment you think should be deleted, flag it for the mods and they'll be forever grateful and give you their first born (although, you probably don't want that).

src="https://c.statcounter.com/922697/0/f674ac4a/1/"
alt="drupal analytics" >