Britney Spears May Have Added Porn To Her List Of Needs

March 12, 2016 / Posted by:

“Extra! Extra! Read all about it!” That’s me in a little newsboy cap shouting at you, our esteemed readers. I’m shouting because here at DListed, we bring you the finest news from the finest sources. We know what we’re bringing you is 100% (numbers not accurate) true and straight from the horse’s mouth. Like today. Today I will have you know that, apparently, Britney Cheeto Starbucks Uggs Babydropper Spears is addicted to internet porn.

According to The National Enquirer, Britney’s friends are concerned because she’s been burning through AOL internet time discs looking at people bumping uglies, knocking boots and putting D in P like no one’s business – which it isn’t! If a grown ass woman wants to spend the hours she has off from her lazy, lip-snyched show looking at porn, she can! This comes on the heels of Britney telling an audience at her show that she wants “a really hot nerd with a big dick.” Nasty talk like that can only be the work of internet porn.

Britney split with her last boyfriend, Charlie Ebersol, in June and since then, apparently, her friends and inner circle have grown more and more worried over her love of porn. One source type said:

“She’s highly sexual and gets really frustrated when she’s not having regular romps, so lately she’s been getting her kicks through porn more and more! Britney watches porn every single day! She has for years, even when she was in a serious relationship — but it’s getting out of hand the longer she goes without a man in her life!”

The “insider” also goes on to say that friends and family are worried that the hillbilly Terry Crews will turn to online dating and meet some gold digging man whore:

 “Britney wears her heart on her sleeve, but her choice in men has always been questionable. She falls way too quickly before giving a guy a chance to show his true colors. She’s always loved the idea of online dating, but it’s a massive understatement to say her family thinks it’s a terrible idea. She really needs to find a decent guy, and the sooner the better. Britney’s incredibly lonely right now. Seeking some kind of comfort in porn is not healthy, and only fuels her desperation!”

Questionable? Really? Excuse me, but, was Kevin Federline questionable? Was Jason Alexander questionable? Was her last album questionable? I don’t care what your answer to those questions are because I know my answer. No. Or yes. I’m not sure. Regardless, porn addiction tears people and families apart. And since this is via the Enquirer I’m taking it all to be totally true. Which means we need to rally and save Britney from the porn devil! You can send your donations directly to me. I promise all the money will go towards helping Brit overcome this deadly serious problem.

Pic: Wenn

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