Many millionaire actors have pulled our dicks by saying that they don’t make pieces of shit Hollywood movies because of the money, they do it for their art. They don’t make big-budget Hollywood action movies because of the eight figure checks they bring. They do it because it brings them major amounts of artistic fulfillment. But hot and furry Easter Island statue Henry Cavill isn’t going to tell us bullshit lies. Henry admits that he’s not only making movies because “acting” is his life and he’ll die without it. Henry loves the millions of dollars he makes from being a movie star. At least SOMEONE is being honest, but seriously, here I was thinking that Henry was only playing the multi-layered character of Superman over and over again because it truly stroked his thespian bone good. I was wrong.
“I’m slightly wary of saying this, because it can be frowned upon, certainly by members of my community and people outside my community…but I’m not just doing this for the art. The money’s fantastic and that’s something which I deem—and again, it is frowned upon—very important.”
Henry, who went from privileged rich kid to privileged rich movie star, really wanted to drive home the point that having a lot of money is better than butt twirling on a veiny 8-inch dick, so he grabbed his top hat and cane and sang the “Money” song with Liza Minnelli:
“You’ve got to enjoy life! I mean, you’ve got to! When I’m making money I’m spending it on nice stuff, whether that be lavish holidays for me and my friends or just seeing something and going in a shop and saying, ‘Yeah, I want that for the house,’ and buying it. Spending money on my friends, buying dinner for everyone, drinks for everyone, it’s a nice place to be, and I like people to feel cared for. People will be calling me a cock as they’re reading this, but travel’s great as long as you’re going first class. I mean, traveling to New Zealand in economy, it sucks. Especially if you’re over six feet. But first class? I’m not going to ever pretend to be coy about that. I love it.”
32-year-old Henry didn’t go to college, so he says he’s making up for lost time by fucking on a 19-year-old and doing it up rich frat dude-style.
“I didn’t get to mess about and be a university kid, but I get to mess about now. And I’ve actually got money to spend on nice places, rather than having to go to grotty pubs that stink of piss. I don’t like to focus on things that I missed out on. I also got huge benefits, and that’s really good.”
But Henry’s interview with Man of the World wasn’t all about how he’s living out his rich bro dreams, he also got deep. And well, he should’ve just stayed in the shallow end, smoking up hundred dollars bills with his teenage piece. This is what Henry’s brain burped up when he got into talking about #OscarsSoWhite:
“I honestly believe that every year there are people passed over who should have been nominated, and that there are people who shouldn’t have been nominated who are. And I don’t think anything has ever changed in that respect. It’s subjective. I watch movies with my girlfriend all the time, and I will sit there and say, ‘That was shit!’ and she’ll go, ‘Really? I enjoyed it!’ But, that said, this year in particular, there seems to be a serious lack of black guys and girls being nominated. Maybe the solution is to have more diversity in the members. But does that mean we are saying that to have more black academy members would result in more black nominations? Is that not racist itself?”
I can almost hear the cogs in his brain slowly grind to a halt as he ponders that last question. Or maybe that sound I’m hearing is Man of the World’s interviewer grinding their teeth while trying hard to fight the urge to scream, “Just shut up and show us your nips!”