One of the most dangerous games of Russian Roulette you’ll ever play is with the movies on Jennifer Aniston’s IMDB page. Sure, you might get lucky and land on a good one, like Office Space or Wanderlust (or if you’re really lucky, Leprechaun). But sadly, there’s an even greater chance you’ll get Rumor Has It or The Bounty Hunter. Apparently this is something Jennifer Aniston is aware of.
Jenny, who is currently promoting that Mother’s Day movie, recently admitted to Harper’s Bazaar that she’s not exactly proud of some of the things she’s done for a paycheck. I don’t have a dictionary handy, but I think that might be the definition of Irony?
“I’m a bit of a people pleaser. I’ve got to stop. Some of the movies I’ve made, I bow my head in slight shame over.”
But Jennifer Aniston wants you to know it’s not because she’s been passing all the good parts off onto Meryl Streep and Kate Winslet; it’s because nobody wants to give Rachel Green a chance at a ~serious~ role.
“I can do other things. I feel a sense of freedom that I hadn’t necessarily felt before. Also, you have to start taking chances in an industry that’s very insecure about taking chances on people. People forget who actors are. They say, ‘You’re too known to play that part. You can’t disappear.’ And we’re like, ‘Give us a chance. We’ll disappear.’
If you really want to see Jennifer Aniston disappear, tell her that her husband was spotted stocking the fridge with Evian. All there will be is a cloud of dust where she once stood and the far-off cry of: “NO! This is a SmartWater house!”
Jennifer also got into her relationship with Justin Theroux. Specifically, that you shouldn’t hold your breath waiting for her to take a selfie with Justin’s apples in a produce bag bulge, because she’s not about that Instagram life.
“We work so hard to maintain some sort of life and privacy. Why would we intentionally put ourselves out there?”
Justin does have an Instagram account, but the most exciting thing you’re going to see there are pictures of dogs and typography. Jennifer also admitted that she’s little weirded out when fans try to take those awkward backwards over-the-shoulder stealth selfies (you know, where it looks like they’re trying to take a picture of Bloody Mary in the mirror without having her suck out their soul?)
“They see you, hold their phone right up to your face, and take a picture. I’m like, I’m standing right here with a pulse! It’s sweet, though, just…different.”
If you’re wondering why she chose to use the word “sweet” over, let’s say, “fucking annoying“, it’s because she doesn’t want her inbox to fill up with messages from people telling her why she shouldn’t use the word “fucking.”
“Man, I think everyone’s so freakin’ politically correct lately. It’s becoming a real drag. I like making jokes.”
Eh, everyone is bound to get offended by something. Personally, I’m offended by that picture above of Jennifer and that falcon. Why does Jennifer get to wear glamorous nude-illusion lace titty couture while that falcon gets stuck with some regular old feathers? #FashionForFalcons. Here’s more of High Fashion Jenny in Harper’s Bazaar.