Night Crumbs
Selena Gomez got stuck in an elevator in Paris and she tweeted video of her harrowing ordeal, because it didn’t happen unless you tweet it. Selena looks so calm in the video, but I guess getting stuck in an elevator is nothing when you’ve survived a relationship with Justin Bieber. I mean, imagine if you were alone with the Biebs when he ran out of Sizzurp and threw a tantrum and you couldn’t find his favorite Binky anywhere? Now that shit is truly terrifying and stressful – Lainey Gossip
Gigi Hadid is speaking my language – Drunken Stepfather
Chrissy Teigen is on the cover of Self Magazine. At least they tell me that’s Chrissy Teigen – Celebitchy
A commercial starring Michael Phelps made Michael Phelps cry – Towleroad
Does Jacqueline Laurita’s face move? – Reality Tea
Lin-Manuel Miranda says that he once winked at Kanye West during a performance of Hamilton because Kanye was in his “blast zone.” Well, if Lin-Manuel’s fingers are fat and long enough, I’m sure Kanye would gladly invite them into his “blast zone” – The Superficial
“Hello, welcome to the Acid Trip Geisha Bar and Lounge. My name is Dakota and I’ll be your cocktail server tonight.” – Popoholic
You already knew this, but Ted Cruz’s homegirl Caitlyn Jenner will probably never vote for Hillary Clinton – Boy Culture
You already knew this too, but Erin Andrews isn’t going to get anywhere near the $55 million a jury awarded her – Jezebel
What in the hell kind of GD outfit is Karlie Kloss wearing? – Hollywood Tuna
Sacha Baron Cohen bounced out of the Freddie Mercury biopic, because Queen wanted it to be about Queen – OMG Blog
WHY IS SHE WASTING ALL OF THAT DELICIOUS IN-N-OUT?!!! – IDLYITW
Tina Fey did herself a favor and didn’t watch Sarah Palin’s 30 Rock parody – HuffPo
I’m sad that Stephanie Tanner didn’t say “How rude!” to mega feminist Miley Cyrus trying to shame her on Instagram – Starcasm
Zac Efron is still shirtless and still making constipated faces – Popsugar
Kanye West farted up at the mouth about fashion again and after reading his tweets I really want to buy a hundred suits jackets – Just Jared
Sharon Osbourne needs a Photoshop team that won’t warp her belly button – SOW