Hot Slut Of The Day!

March 7, 2016 / Posted by:

Elvira Bach, German painter and a new addition to my list of personal style icons.

No German will ever come close to matching the glamour and beauty of the rhinestone-encrusted cholita Liberace named Harald Glööckler, but Elvira Bach has landed a place at the top of the list of Germans who have the ability to make retinas curl with their style. While going through photo agency websites yesterday, I nearly stopped, dropped and rolled when the fiery hot glamour of Elvira Bach slammed me in the face. The pictures that burned layers of glamour into my face were taken at a party in Berlin for a new book of her works.

Wikipedia tells me that Elvira Bach is a 64-year-old postmodernist painter who is known for her colorful portraits of women. Elvira Bach gets a zillion gold stars for her name alone. I mean, she shares a first name with the goddess of Halloween (and the goddess of Scarface) and her last name makes me thinks of Brach’s Neapolitan candies. I know her last name is technically “Bach,” but add an “r” and it becomes a delicious sweet treat. But Elvira Bach gets at least 99 zillion gold stars for the look she serves up. Elvira Bach doesn’t give one fuck and gives all the fucks at the same time. That’s a rare gift.

In some of the pics, she’s giving me young Ernest Borgnine in Frida Kahlo drag and in other pics she’s giving me storefront East Village fortune teller glamour. I know that normally I like an eyebrow situation that looks like it’s been tended to as meticulously as THE QUEEN’s garden, but I can also appreciate a wild jungle like what Elvira’s brows are giving me. Those brows are wild and free and I’m feeling all of it. I want to take a pill that miniaturizes me so I can run freely through her wild forest brows while howling into the air.

Elvira Bach is the kind of queen who looks like she’ll burn you in the face with her cigarette if you fuck with her and that is my type of queen. How do you say “bow down” in German?

Pics: Wenn.com

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