The pinnacle of memoirs and memoir writing, Katie Price, has a new esteemed colleague in the world of celebrity biographies. Let’s give a warm welcome to Top Chef host Padma Lakshmi. That’s right! Give her a hand! Padma, please tell us about you, your life and the days of it. The New York Daily News got their hands on a copy of Padma’s forthcoming autobiography, Love, Loss and What We Ate.
The bulk of what’s been released has to do with Padma’s messy relationship with author and Taken villain-looking person, Salman Rushdie. She and Salman met in 1999 at a party when she was 28 and he was 51. He was also married at the time. Despite that, he wanted her body bad and chased after her. They eventually went out and she says they ended up sans ropas that first night. Of it, she writes, “At 3am, I woke with a start. I’m naked in a married man’s bed.” I can’t read that without going directly to the part in cinematic masterpiece, Obsessed, where Beyonce shouts “Naked?! In your bed?!”
She goes on to tell the gross tale of how Salman was mega self-centered and needed constant care and attention. As well as the fact he was always horny and that she wasn’t able to do it all the time after she developed and was diagnosed with endometriosis. (Twice in one day it comes up! Oy vey!) She claims he had very little sympathy for her about her sickness and the surgeries she went through to get better. When she’d say she wasn’t up for sex because of the pain, he’d apparently say extremely sensitive and nice things to her like “How convenient.” He also called her a “bad investment.” She finally went to see a divorce lawyer after he left for a trip the day after she had surgery. The two got married in 2004 and split up three years later.
It seems like a big chunk of the book is about her messy love life including how she got knocked up by venture capitalist Adam Dell while dating IMG CEO Ted Fortsmann. Padma also writes about dipping into the lady pond:
“I acted out my curiosities and fantasies. Some I regret, but not all, like knowing what it’s like to touch and be touched by a woman.”
A little or a lot of gayelle never hurt nobody. What does hurt is that I’m pretty sure this book doesn’t fully cover the most important thing she’s ever done – playing pop star Sylk in Glitter! Being a part of that shining beacon of film making and integrity is far more interesting than the men she’s fucked or the foods she’s gobbled. If you’ll excuse me, I’m going to write a letter to her publisher letting them know what the people really want.