King and Queen of all things grumpy, hateful and bitter, Morrissey, is possibly considering running for mayor of London. Don’t tell him I called him King and Queen because you know how he feels about the monarchy, but I cannot tell a lie and that is what he is. His kingdom, unlike the Queen’s, is all eyeliner emo kids eating vegan snackpacks while they cry about their hair straighteners not working or something and soon, that very well could become part of the Queen’s kingdom.
The angry clown was asked about being the mayoral candidate for the Animal Welfare Party in the upcoming election, and he – that’s what he posted an essay/manifesto/response on his fansite True To You:
“Animal welfare groups cannot persist simply in order to continue to persist. There must be a governmental voice against the hellish and archaic social injustice allotted to animals in the United Kingdom simply because those animals do not speak English, otherwise millions of very caring citizens are greatly concerned about issues that no one is able to do anything about. What animal protectionists need to say is very well worth saying and well worth hearing. But we cannot just sit around waiting for establishment enlightenment. The sanctimonious disaster of animal agriculture cannot be allowed to go on forever, because its widespread impact is hellish. Animals in dairy farms and abattoirs are very eager not to die, yet their bodies are torn apart whilst still alive as they are strapped beneath a blade. No outcome can justify this, and we cannot be happy with a society that allows it to happen, because such a society without compassion goes nowhere. The abattoir is the modern continuation of the Nazi concentration camp, and if you are a part of the milk-drinking population, then you condone systems of torture. There is no such thing as humane slaughter, and if you believe that there is, then why not experience it for yourself? If animal serial killer Jamie Oliver feels so passionate about including ‘kid meat’ (young goat) into the human diet, would he consider putting forth one of his own kids (children) for general consumption? If not, why not? What makes such people have absolutely no forgiveness towards animals? What hate drives them? The meat industry, after all, shows no compassion towards the planet, towards climate change, towards animals, towards human health. It is diabolically contrived and is the world’s number one problem. It is also the number one issue stifled from any political debate, which, if anything, highlights its importance. The slaughterhouse effectively means that none of us are safe. Just investigate the appalling effects of meat production on our climate, environment, fields, forests, lakes, streams, seas, air and space. Your eyes will pop. No bigger global disaster could possibly be devised. Social justice for animals is not much to demand, because we are only asking humans to think rationally and with heart, even if being unable to hunt foxes and shoot birds would leave the Saxe-Coburg-Gotha family with nothing else to do.”
You’ve gotta hand it to him, he takes shade throwing to an entirely new level where the word petty ceases to exist. Calling Jamie Oliver an “animal serial killer” and asking him to offer up his own children as food is a category 10 tea sipper. I was a vegetarian for ten years so I get down with what he’s saying and sometimes it does take a no nonsense vegan queen in a too tight for her shirt to make everyone wake up and smell the quinoa. Apparently, he only needs 330 signatures of support to actually enter the race for mayor. I hope he gets them and then I hope the Queen goes “oh really? Let’s make this interesting!” and somehow runs for mayor too. Now that would be a seriously electrifying spectacular. Just imagine it, ‘Election 2k16: Queen v Queen’!