Slap yourself until you’ve developed a sense of real taste if you thought I was calling Cate Blanchett the “best-dressed person” at the Oscars. Although, she may be a close second, because she looks like the ethereal wedding cake of two faeries who are on Pinterest a lot.
I’m talking about two-time Oscar-winning and one-time Hot Slut winning costume designer Jenny Beavan who picked up her second Academy Award on Sunday night while dressed like she had a Hell’s Angel pot luck to get to afterward. Jenny is known for slathering herself in many layers of WHO CARES when she goes to an awards show. And after she won the Oscar for the costumes she designed for Mad Max: Fury Road, she told reporters backstage that a gown would look dumb on her and in her opinion, she did dress up.
When Jenny’s name was called, she took the long walk to the stage and as she did, the camera caught a bunch of hos looking about as sour as Quentin Tarantino at an orgy full of double amputees. Here’s a longer clip of the human Grumpy Cats not clapping for a real fashion icon:
Because this has become news, Jenny wrote a piece for The Hollywood Reporter about the scandal that her hot outfit caused.
Jenny no care about dressing up to award shows and she no care about some fancies not clapping for her. Jenny said that she wore what she wore because she didn’t want to wear a black boring suit and wanted to do something “fun” like pay homage to Mad Max. Jenny also added that she took a long time getting to the stage and maybe people’s hands got tired and needed to take a break:
“I just think I was quite slow. It is so easy to trip, even though I was wearing a sensible pair of boots. I just wanted to take it slowly. And, honestly, I didn’t clap the whole time [during the ceremony] — your hands get tired. We had done a huge amount of clapping by that time. They didn’t have to! I don’t mind in the least if they didn’t clap. I felt really good, I felt the warmth, I was so proud of doing the film for George and it didn’t matter what anyone else thought, really.
I was absolutely doing it as an homage to the film — and I don’t have any sense that anyone in the Academy didn’t appreciate it. I really do think things will all calm down, but the only thing I would like is for my outfit to have a positive effect on what women feel about themselves. You don’t actually have to look like a supermodel to be successful. If that could be a takeaway, I think that would be a good thing. It is really good to have a positive feeling about yourself, because then you can do anything. People don’t have to clap for you; they don’t have to like the work.”
One of the people in that clip who got the most shit was Oscar-winning director Alejandro González Iñárritu who had his arms crossed and threw a cinematic bitchy side-eye when Jenny passed him. Alejandro wanted to clear his good name. So he told The Guardian that he did clap for her and the camera just happened to catch him while his arms were crossed. He even coughed up the receipts in the form of this GIF of him clapping as she made her way up to the stairs:
Or maybe Alejandro started clapping then because he knew the cameras would be on him! I see you, Alejandro.
This has made me think (and I hate when I do that), though. What if all of those Hollywood hos wore what made them feel the most comfortable to the Oscars? We’d probably see them all in sweats, stained shirts and hideous UGG slippers. Well, everyone except for magical alien Tilda Swinton. We’d see her in her most comfortable lounging outfit: a latex bodysuit that becomes the color of the background when her enemies come near her.