So far, this election has been like taking acid at a Ringling Bros. Barnum & Bailey show and so nothing really surprises me including this shot of chunky fooolery courtesy of Caitlyn Jenner. Caitlyn did an interview with the Advocate to promote the next season of I Am Cait, and she got into talking about political shit. Now, Caitlyn, who’s a Republican, didn’t exactly sing, “I’ve got a crush on Cruz,” (to the tune of “Crush on Obama“), but she did say that out of all the candidates, she likes Ted Cruz.
Ted Cruz has made it clear a few times that trans rights aren’t exactly at the top, or even at the damn bottom, of his list and Caitlyn admits that. But she seems to think that she has the power to change him! In possibly related news, the plastic surgeon where Caitlyn gets her Botox injections just announced that they’ve discovered a giant supply of their shit was spiked with LSD. Take it away, Caitlyn.
“I like Ted Cruz. I think he’s very conservative, and a great constitutionalist, and a very articulate man. I haven’t endorsed him or anything like that. But I also think, he’s an evangelical Christian, and probably one of the worst ones when it comes to trans issues. I get it. The Democrats are better when it comes to these types of social issues. I understand that. Number one, if we don’t have a country, we don’t have trans issues. We need jobs. We need a vibrant economy. I want every trans person to have a job. With $19 trillion in debt and it keeps going up, we’re spending money we don’t have. Eventually, it’s going to end. And I don’t want to see that. Socialism did not build this country. Capitalism did. Free enterprise. The people built it. And they need to be given the opportunity to build it back up.”
We already knew that Caitlyn’s head was stuck in the clouds when she accidentally ran into that white Lexus, but now we know that her head is above the clouds in dreamland. Because Caitlyn seems to think that President Cruz will put together a trans issues board with her on it.
“Wouldn’t it be great, let’s say he goes on to be president. And I have all my girls on a trans issues board to advise him on making decisions when it comes to trans issues. Isn’t that a good idea?”
When Dawn Ennis, who did the interview for the Advocate, asked her if she wants to be a trans ambassador, she said that’s exactly what she wants:
“Yes, trans ambassador to the president of the United States, so we can say, ‘Ted, love what you’re doing but here’s what’s going on.’”
I can’t even laugh at that, because this election has taught me that everything is possible. Ted Cruz could become president and he could make Caitlyn Jenner’s dreams come true by making her Ambassador…to Transylvania. If that happens, we’ll all just shrug and say, “Bitch must be SLYCIC.”
Here’s Caitlyn leaving a restaurant in L.A. last night and yes, she drove.