One week ago, former bikini model Cheryl Tiegs pulled out her Dr. Oz Book of “Facts” and slapped at Sports Illustrated for glamorizing unhealthy non-skinnies by putting current bikini model Ashley Graham on the cover of the 2016 Swimsuit Issue. (Cheryl did throw one compliment at Ashley by describing her face as “beautiful, beautiful“, which I guess is Cheryl’s version of “great gowns, beautiful gowns.”) Later she tried to clarify what she meant, which…didn’t really make it sound any better. Now one week later, Ashley is slapping back at Cheryl to E! News. Maybe slapping isn’t the right word; it’s really more of a bored wave, because Ashley doesn’t give a fuck about Cheryl or her armchair diagnosis.
“Cheryl Tiegs may have said what she said and it may have hurt a lot of peoples feelings, but my skin is so thick. I kind of rolled my eyes, I was like, ‘Oh whatever, another one of these ladies.’ But what’s great is that—the fact that she said it—it means that other women think like her. And what that means is that we really need to change the industry. There are too many people thinking they can look at a girl my size and say that we are unhealthy. You can’t, only my doctor can!”
“But first, I’d like to talk to Cheryl about what years of sucking back pack after pack of Virgina Slims have done to her lungs” said Ashley’s doctor.
I do love that Ashley gave an honest answer. When it comes to getting health advice from a lady who looks like she isn’t a stranger to holding up the line at BevMo by demanding they accept her expired 5-cent sale flyer as a coupon, “whatever” truly says it all. But in case that “whatever” wasn’t clear enough for Cheryl, maybe Sports Illustrated could send her a complimentary pack of stick-on googly eyes with a note instructing her to save them for all future covers featuring non-skinny models. That way, the next time she decides to bust out some obesity truth, she can shake the cover, watch their eyes roll, and say, “Okay, I get it. I’ll shut up now.”