Seen above looking like an Asian mannequin in goth stripper drag, Iggy Azalea did an interview and a spread with Elle Canada, because I guess a real cover-worthy star like The Hot Dog Hooker was either not available or turned their asses down. Iggy talked about her grand return to social media (cut to the tumbleweeds and crickets on Twitter welcoming her back) after she hilariously tried to pick a fight with Papa John’s and had many a tweet war with her permanent arch rival Azealia Banks. Before I get into round (I lost) of the Great Value version of the Kanye vs. Taylor feud, let’s get into Iggy talking about how she replaced her born nose with a nose that Mattel made for her.
Iggy has already admitted that she had some silicone chichi bags installed in her chest and that she got her nose chopped and pinched, and she tells Elle that people who get plastic surgery shouldn’t deny it and everyone should just accept it. She also said that she got her schnoz worked on because she got Marcia Brady’d as a teenager and it put a bump on it.
“I think, in 2016, people should be more accepting of the fact that both famous and non-famous women are having cosmetic procedures. That’s just the reality. And I think more people need to admit that shit so it doesn’t have to be so taboo—because we’re all doing it anyway. I wanted to change my nose because I didn’t grow up with a bump on it—that happened when I got smashed in the face with a soccer ball when I was 16. Now I feel like my nose looks the way it’s supposed to look. But for how long do we have to acknowledge that I got a nose job? For the rest of my life? Am I going to be 45 and people are still saying ‘Nice nose job’?”
Iggy is only 25 and if she stays in the “world of Hollywood,” I’m sure nobody’s going to be saying, “Nice nose job, ” to her in 20 years. They’ll be saying, “Bitch, where’s your nose?“, because she’ll probably keep going under the plastic surgeon’s scalpel until she looks like the second coming of Voldemort. As for her forever nemesis Azealia Banks…
The scatting chanteuse stepped away from Twatter for a second after her 1,400th fight with Azealia over Iggy not saying anything about the Black Lives Matter movement. Iggy wishes she could erase all of that including everything that happened to her in 2015 (like her tour getting thrown into the incinerator with the remnants of her old nose). But Iggy still hates Azealia.
“If I could, I would Men in Black memory-erase 2015, I totally would—that would be amazing! Oh, God, there are so many things. I think the Azealia Banks thing is what really started it all. We don’t like each other on a personal level, and that has gone on for many years—before the Black Lives Matter incident happened. So when I dismissed her, people started to think that I dismissed the whole movement, but I wasn’t trying to dismiss Black Lives Matter—I was trying to dismiss her because it’s our personal shit. I don’t think the subject matter of her tweet was invalid; I just think it was emotionally charged and driven by something else, and the whole thing got so misconstrued. I just wish I had acknowledged the issue head-on because it made people think I don’t care about what’s going on socially and what’s happening in America, and I do care. Even though I still hate Azealia Banks, I wish I had said it in a way that didn’t make people think I was oblivious to the movement. And I wish I hadn’t gotten into a fight with Papa John’s!”
When you say Azealia Bank’s name to the media once, she pops up and shanks your ass. So since Iggy said her name twice, of course she popped up and came for a bitch hard.
I waited…. and waited…. I thought that Azealia might pull a reverse Dustin Lance Black by tweeting, “Bitch, it may be time to tell your fiancé to stop texting me.” But instead of doing that, she released a new song called “Used To Being Alone.”
The “petty” part is that Azealia’s song samples Tony Igy’s Astromania, which Iggy used in her song My World. I don’t know how that’s supposed to be petty. That didn’t even begin to activate my gag reflex. I mean, it’s almost a compliment. It’s like Azealia’s saying, “Girl, I like that song you used so I’m going to used it to!” Aw, maybe there’s hope for these two wrecks after all. Maybe they’ll kiss and make up and in 50 years, they’ll laugh about all of this while sharing a pot of mint tea on the porch of the beach cottage they retired to together. Or their dumb feud will never end and in the far future, one will get arrested for shitting on the other one’s grave. Either or!
Pics: Elle Canada