A Judge Tells Madge And Guy Ritchie To Stop Being Messy And Handle Their Custody Issues Privately

March 2, 2016 / Posted by:

I know, Madonna must be brand new to that judge…

Madge and Guy Ritchie’s train wreck of a custody battle plowed into a court room in NYC today. Their 15-year-old son Rocco Ritchie was living with his mom and went on tour with her, but around Christmastime, he refused to leave his dad’s house in London. Rocco was over living with his mom and wanted to stay with his dad. It was reported that Madge is too controlling and strict for Rocco and Guy is the opposite. Madge went to court to force Rocco to go home with her. The judge ordered Rocco to go home to New York, but he stamped that order with a giant “NOPE.” Between then and today, Madge has called Guy Ritchie a “cuntduring one of her shows, she allegedly hired a private investigator to follow Rocco and she posted throwback pic after throwback pic of him on Instagram. Meanwhile, Rocco has been toking up, because wouldn’t you? Well, a hearing was held today and the judge let those two have it.

People says that neither Madge nor Guy were at the hearing today. They called in and listened through speakerphone as New York Supreme Court Justice Deborah Kaplan declared that Rocco will stay in London while a permanent custody arrangement is figured out. Rocco is currently enrolled in school in London so it makes sense for him to stay there. Rocco’s court-appointed attorney told the judge that he likes his new school in London, but he’s stressed out over how public and messy the custody fight has been.

The Daily Mail says that Madge’s lawyer brought the DRAMA when she suggested that Guy should be arrested for contempt, because he didn’t bring Rocco back to New York to work everything out. Madge’s lawyer Eleanor Alter said that Guy took a piss on the custody arrangement they agreed to when they got divorced in 2008. Eleanor argued that Guy is teaching Rocco how to flip off court orders. Judge Deborah only said that she hasn’t issued a warrant for Guy’s arrest.

But Judge Deborah did say that Madge and Guy need to handle this shit privately and if they can’t come to an agreement, the court will do it for them. Judge Deborah’s words courtesy of UsWeekly:

“Frankly, both parties have chosen to live their lives in a very public way and may welcome the publicity, but the child has not. He would like this matter resolved and the issues concerning him and his family in the most private way possible.

No one is disrupting this household. The child is in school; let us try to allow him to go forward in the most normal way. We’re not forcing the child to leave school. His mother isn’t asking that. I’m encouraging the parents to resolve this matter in the best way possible for the child to take this tremendous pressure off their son.”

The next hearing has been scheduled for June 1st.

The throats of the lawyers in that court room probably almost exploded from them trying to hold in the laughs over the judge telling Guy and Madge to keep things out of the spotlight. HA! I’m sure that when all of us wake up tomorrow morning, there will magically be a story in the tabloids about how Rocco is ditching school to smoke crack with hobos in the park and Guy Ritchie knows and encourages it. But seriously, I know Madge is a crazy control freak who hates to lose even when the wants of her own child are involved, but fighting over custody of a teenager? That’s like fighting over custody of a hormonal raccoon who has the ability to tell you to go to hell. Many teenagers are a mess. I was a teenager and I was a mess. If I had a dad living in England when I was a teenager and I told my mom I wanted to live with him, she’d probably say, “Oh, well wouldn’t you know it? I just so happen to have a one-way ticket to London with your name on it. And I just so happen to have packed a bag with all of your essentials in it. While you go grab that bag, I’ll call you a taxi. Cheerio!

Pic: Wenn.com

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