It’s Who, Bitch?

March 1, 2016 / Posted by:

Who is that on the cover of V Magazine?

1. Is it Jessica Simpson after being ran through Photoshop twice and covered with Instagram filters?

2. Is it Tatianna from RuPaul’s Drag Race in Britney Spears drag after being ran through Photoshop twice and covered with Instagram filters?

3. Is it Britney Spears circa 2003?

The answer is: None of the above. It’s Britney circa today, bitch. More like, it’s, Photoshop, bitch.

Brit Brit and her majestic shooting comet eyebrow game are on the covers of V Magazine’s 100th issue. It’s a little ironic that Brit Brit is on V, since she can never get to the letter “v” while singing the alphabet song. She always gets tripped up at “l-m-n-o-p.” V also released a few quotes from their interview with her and here’s a couple:

On how even though she’s the auto-tune queen, she’s not good with technology and computers and stuff: “Honestly, I still don’t use my computer. My kids use the computer more than I do! I understand that a lot of people are into it, and I have days where I write and stuff, but it’s really not for me. It’s not my thing.”

On her new album that’s coming out this year: “Honestly, I’m just particular with this record. It’s my baby, and so I really want it done right. I would much rather have it be completely how I want it to be, whether that takes another year for me to do, or two months. I have no idea at this point. But I just know that the direction I’m going in is so good. It’s the best thing I’ve done in a long time.”

On The Biebs: “Whoever is in the spotlight, people are really quick to judge. I mean, there are a lot of kids coming up who’ve experienced that. You know, Justin Bieber, he’s huge, and he experiences [judgment]. It’s just the way the world works, unfortunately. I’ve been doing this for 20 years. I kind of don’t pay attention to it. I have my relationship with God and myself and that’s what matters to me. I really don’t care what most people think.”

I bet that Brit Brit’s FORMER publicist is now dragging their recently fired body to the back of the unemployment line, because they fucked up. Britney told V that what really matters to her is her relationships with God and with Britney. But what about Daddy Spears, the man who helped her out of that pink wig trauma?! What about Daddy Spears?! But then again, Daddy Spears looks like he can make Velveeta grits like no other, and that practically makes him God.

Pics: Mario Testino/V Magazine

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