I went in to today assuming that no news reported today would be able to hold a candle to Leonardo DiCaprio finally getting his hands on the gold-plated trophy of his dreams. But non-Oscar news has really come hard today. First there was the story about Chris Jones’ fugitive penis, and now we have a story about a retail brawl starring a pocket-sized stand-up comedian who isn’t Kevin Hart. Although Kevin Hart does make an appearance in this story a little while later.
According to TMZ, Katt Williams – who looks a whole lot less like Katt Williams when he isn’t wearing his usual Hunger Games pimp drag – was arrested earlier today in Gainesville, Georgia for getting into a fight with an employee at a pool supply store. Police say it started as a verbal fight that escalated into a regular fight when Katt threw something at the employee (my guess is a package of Star Wars dildo-style pool toys), which was then followed by a punch. When police arrived, they claimed to have found Katt Williams waiting for them on the ground with his hands behind his back. TMZ says he was released on $5000 bail.
If this story is giving you déjà vu, it might be because you’ve heard it before. Back in 2012, Katt Williams got into a verbal fight that turned into a slap fight with an employee at a Sacramento Target store. Basically, Katt Williams needs to get a fucking Amazon Prime account and start doing all his shopping online, because he clearly can’t handle the in-store experience.
Now, remember two seconds ago when I mentioned that Kevin Hart? Katt’s recent disturbance doesn’t end at starting fights with store employees. BET says that during a comedy show in Atlanta on Saturday, Katt hissed at Kevin Hart for being a “puppet” and accused him of sucking dicks to get ahead. Once again, if this sounds familiar to you, it might be because you’re remembering back to 2012 when Katt Williams wanted you to know that he’s 100% sure Jamie Foxx is gay.
That’s a weird coincidence, right? Pretty much the exact same shit happened four years later. Katt Williams is the leap year of messes. And here’s Katt Williams’ current nemesis at the Oscars last night.