While not as dramatic as the gays, there were other affairs of the heart that weighed heavy on those around the parties involved at the Oscars. Mid-life crisis Ben Affleck and bland former wig wearer Jennifer Garner were at, SHOCK!, the same Oscars after party. As you are all aware, the two are in the process of getting divorced but are friendly – they went skiing over Valentine’s Day, still live together and threw a birthday party together for their son the day before the Oscars. But, according to People, they kept their distance at the Vanity Fair after-Oscars party.
Riveted – I use that term lightly – sources say that Bennifer 2.0 (RIP) greeted each other with a kiss and a hug and Jen even held the lapels of his suit and said he looked good. Soon after, they parted and Jen mostly hung out with Alias chums Victor Garber and J.J. Abrams. The source told People:
“They had a nice moment where they caught up and a lot of their friends were there – and they chatted and then they left”
Jen apparently kept towards the back of the room, low-key style and Ben was seen canoodling with Matt Damon earlier in the night. To be fair, this is so normal and kudos to them for taking this all in stride. I can’t be in the same room as an ex without combusting. They’re at an industry thing and they don’t want to cause a stunt queen fuss. But…
Humor me for a moment – I know you will because you all, like me, enjoy dismantling this stuff – they can PR the shit out of this all they want but I’m sensing some full on Gone Girl shit going on here. I’m pretty sure she didn’t say he looked good when she grabbed his lapels. She pulled him in close, kept that serene look on her face and said, “I will take everything from you. You will be nothing. You thought ‘Gigli‘ was bad? Just you wait you son of a bitch. When I’m done the only thing you’ll have left is that disgusting back tattoo and the inevitable shitty reviews for ‘Batman v. Superman’. She’s keeping up that nice lady exterior but at home she makes him sleep on a roll away cot in the pantry and tells him she’d never dream of hurting him just so long as he keeps doing what she says. Good for her! I finally have a reason to like her!