When I saw Alicia Vikander (now Academy Award Winner Alicia Vikander) stroll down the red carpet last night, it gave me a massive nostalgia high. A lot of people probably did, thanks to Alicia’s Beauty and the Beast realness. But gazing upon that pale yellow poofy Louis Vuitton dress instantly whooshed me back to memories of playing a game called Beautiful Lady in my childhood bedroom. The rules of Beautiful Lady were simple: look like a beautiful lady. Usually I would play it safe and throw on a Dress n’ Dazzle 3-in-1 Glamour Gown and my exquisite Burger King ThunderCats ring. But if I wanted to look extra beautiful, I’d pull the fitted sheet off my bed and make a stunning ballgown.
I liked to use the fitted sheet because it was far more glamorous and show-stopping than the flat sheet. It puffed out at the bottom, and as everyone knew in the 80s, puffy = instant sophistication. It was dead easy – I’d just wrap it around my waist and fasten it with a banana clip. Then I’d throw on my “wig” (a pair of black nylons) and wait for the flattery to roll in. Alicia clearly knows that Beautiful Lady is always the look, because she made sure to pair her bedsheet dress with flat-on-top/long-in-the-back hair too. Although I don’t think her jewelry came from Burger King. If I had to guess, it’s probably some cheap crap from Harry Winston or something.
Alicia wasn’t the only one who was giving me flashbacks to my homemade fashion years. Kate Winslet also took me for a walk down memory lane.
For the days we felt a little more sassy than classy, my friends and I would play a game called Garage Model. where you’d make a runway look using only materials you found in the garage. Obviously, all of them were constructed from trash bags. But they never looked nearly as nice as Kate’s Hefty haute couture. That could be because ours were always held together with masking tape and bumper stickers.
And then there was British fashion designer Sandy Powell.
I never played a dress-up gamed called Ziggy Stardust Christmas Wrapping Paper Androgynous Dominatrix Businessman, but if I did, I would want to look like Sandy Powell. “Me too” said David Bowie superfan Lady Gaga.
Here’s more of the fancy dresses and suits from last night. Bonus points go to Kerry Washington, whose gown truly combines the best of the Beautiful Lady and Garage Model aesthetic. Minus points to Rachel McAdams for not wearing a pink satin tube dress from 1-3-5.